


Wild

by WhenIFindLoveAgain



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2001), Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Background Relationships, Boys In Love, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Complicated Relationships, Cousin Incest, Crack Relationships, Declarations Of Love, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Porn, Emotional Sex, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotions, Established Relationship, Eventual Relationships, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, Forbidden Love, Friendship/Love, Gay, Gay Character, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Healthy Relationships, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Incest, Incest, Incest Kink, Love, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, M/M, Open Relationships, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Pseudo-Incest, Psychology, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 32,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23941366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain
Summary: A slow-moving of character study into the emotional, psychological, animalistic and tribalistic elevation of a incestuous relationship between Sohma Yuki and Kyo of the "Fruits Basket" Japanese magna novella, and pursuit, life, desire, loss, abuse and trepidation of this given realism.
Relationships: Sohma Kyou/Sohma Yuki
Comments: 29
Kudos: 48





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Yuki and Kyo....I love writing things in this sort of context. I feel it gives me a platform to shoe my writing, my adaption, my art, at it's very possible best. The character study and assessment, the emotional, psychological, animalistic and tribalistic elevation, pursuit, life, desire, loss, abuse and trepidation of these matters. To me, it's utterly extraordinary, writing how humans behave, what it is to be human, how to flaunt and abuse humanity. It's utterly devastating, beautiful and typical and monstrous

The tension built up between the two of them until it was too much. They exploded. Visceral reactions and naturalistic horror collided. Kyo's violence and Yuki's bitter defence, crashing together, loggerheads. They were driving each other wild. Kyo wanted to kill Yuki, and Kyo irritated Yuki until he too exploded, the blood beneath his skin burning. Kyo slammed Yuki by his neck into a wall, and Yuki responded by head-butting Kyo and kicking him in the stomach. Kyo launched up and tackled Yuki to the ground and Yuki did something that he knew would frighten the life from Kyo.

Yuki sunk his teeth into Kyo's shoulder and ripped Kyo's hair back so hard that along with the pain of having his neck bitten, the caught groan Kyo gave was amplified. It was worse for Yuki. It made Kyo's knee and fist assault him hard in the ribs.

They only stopped when they heard the sound of Tohru crying and Shigure nearly to the point of hitting both the young men with one of the old cricket bats from the back garden shed. Kyo tried to get Tohru to be quiet, and Yuki ducked beneath Shigure's intervening arm to hit Kyo so hard in the face that he crashed to the floor, blood from his nose and mouth running all over his being, as though he had been stabbed. 

It was Kyo's fault. He started it with a tiny giggle, getting to his feet and running the back of his hand over his mouth and nose, his dark-olive skin now smeared thick and iron-scented red. Yuki picked up the giggle too, and within a few seconds that were undoubtedly traumatic for Tohru and naturalistically horrific for Shigure, they were nearly pissing themselves laughing.

"Damn rat..." Kyo wheezed out.

"Motherfucking cunt." Yuki returned with a easy, hell-induced smile, his bones and skin feeling as though he had been embalmed; smooth and gracious and he didn't feel very conscious. The language from Yuki's mouth made Kyo's eyebrows raise and a applause come from his bruised-knuckled hands, plus a remark that Yuki had finally grown some balls. Tohru had just about passed out from the swearing, having rushed upstairs. It hadn't quite sunk into Yuki and Kyo, the impact of how much they had frightened and upset her. Shigure went upstairs after her, all the male snarling finished.

Kyo and Yuki were left alone.

Yuki took in the supernatural ferocity of Kyo's orange hair. Kyo took in the Scandinavian ethereality of Yuki's. 

"God, I hate you." Kyo's chest heaved as he talked to Yuki.

Yuki blinked slowly. "I never doubted it." He replied. 

-

You're driving me wild, Kyo thought, looking at Yuki gracefully ducked out of the hordes of social attraction from the "fan club". Kyo had a momentary thought of did it sometimes irritate Yuki, sicken him, of all that behaviour from the other students? He regarded not going mental at them - as Kyo would - with a form of duty, but the man was human and he was a man at the end of the day. Surely it would shit him. 

All of a sudden, Yuki's head turned to the side and his albino-like gaze locked on Kyo's being; it floored Kyo, though he didn't move an inch. The gaze was intent and visceral and targeted towards him. Kyo directly returned it, and he didn't care if anyone else in the t-crossing hallways saw the line form between he and Yuki.

It drove Kyo wild; because usually that would be the indication of something to be initiated. The fight to start. It killed Kyo that they couldn't do that. And Yuki's gaze - oh shit.

-

"What do you think you're doing?" Kyo grabbed Yuki's arm. Yuki didn't flinch.

"What do you want?" Yuki looked into Kyo's eyes directly. Kyo glowered at him. 

"At stupid damn school earlier." Kyo's grip on Yuki's arm tightened.

"Get off me." Yuki told Kyo.

"You sure you want that?" Kyo's mouth turned up nastily at one corner. Yuki observed him.

"This isn't really your style." Yuki remarked.

Mid-Autumn rain fell hard and heavy on the roof above him. It drowned out all other noise. They could not hear downstairs, and downstairs they could not hear them upstairs. Suddenly, with Yuki, Kyo remembered nothing else. He remembered no one else. Somewhere quiet and distant inside of him whispered that he was really hurting Yuki, but the monster of Kyo's being didn't really care.

"Kyo, what do you want from me?" Yuki's voice asked, breaking through the thick air between two of them. Kyo pulled Yuki closer to him, but only by a little bit. But it was enough for Yuki to notice. Instead of ripping his arm away, Yuki's other hand, his free hand, snaked around the back of Kyo's neck. Yuki's touch was electric, enflaming Kyo both in a way that was blissful and fiery. Kyo's chest and stomach knotted tightly, and the electricity ran down to his knees and flew back up in a shiver to his crotch. Kyo wanted to leave, but then he didn't. He wondered if Yuki felt the same, but then he realised that Yuki probably did. He did.

It was like a magnetic for between the two of them. Helplessly, they came together. Yuki quickly breathed in through parted lips before they pressed up against Kyo's in a crash, his eyes closing naturally. Everything that was noise Ir movement died in the background around them; all that Kyo and Yuki knew were how distantly they were enveloped in this deafening peace, one that absolutely claimed them. When they parted, it was slow. Yuki exhaled his breath softly, and his eyes were dewy and based as they looked at Kyo's lips, then up to the other man's eyes. Yuki's mouth was electrified, as though someone had sparked him. It felt swollen as well.

Kyo didn't just leave him standing there. Neither did Yuki to Kyo.

Yuki had never really understood before how couples could lapse together, fall into one another. Yuki had always seen it as a matter of having no self-control, being reckless, knowing better and throwing away that perspective.

But only now did Yuki understand that you couldn't help yourself. You dived into the water, not knowing the depth, but, oh, how knowing the water was. How subconsciously every synapse of your body had observed and deconstructed the human being standing before you, and that was the power that led you into it. How you went in deeper when you weren't pushed away and you weren't told no. For the first time in his life, Yuki understood desire, and it swept into the human psyche, punishing it, elevating it, causing problems, causing magic. Things to never be forgotten, even in the far-off realism of the world...they were very terrible things. Wrong things. 

It seemed that Kyo thought the same.

Yuki gazed up at Kyo, his hands touching Kyo's chest lightly. Kyo has let go of his arm by then, and the flesh was red and aching from where Kyo had gripped it, trying to resist the feeling, the temptation, the sin in it's beginning. "What are we going to do, now?" Yuki wondered aloud. That was when Kyo turned away from him.

Yuki went to move after him, but he didn't. A part of him murmured the advice of that was for the best. Another part of him screamed not to leave like that. 


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyo creeps into Yuki's bedroom to watch him sleep and have the freedom to be near him without crossing a boundary they can't escape back from in his mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I've written this, I've staged it about the second volume of the original Fruits Basket series. I've only got two or three of the Fruits Basket books, all picked up from book shops when I was about seven or eight. I didn't really read them until I was fourteen. They were all old prints from the '90s and early 2000s that I picked up for £1 each (which is why I got them). I've always had a bit of a fascination with the psychopathic eroticism of Japanese society and culture. Most people would say it's racist, but to truly live amongst Japanese people and their history and heritage and politics and Shinto - their little worlds - those two words are the most profound and accurate description

Yuki's eyes opened, his sleeping state automatically disturbed as he heard someone slide his bedroom door open. They were careful in doing it, and, in the darkness, they couldn't tell that Yuki wad watching their silhouette through half-lidded eyes. The bedroom lamp wasn't turned on, and the only bits of light that came into the room were from a streetlight on the other side of the other side of the block, and the general orange-blamed glow of the city landscape. Cracks in the curtains; centimeter slits at the sides and in the middle and at the too of the metal rail where the fabric was hooked.

Kyo moved around to the other side of Yuki's bed, and sat down on the floor, silently watching Yuki's resting body. Yuki's back was to him, and Yuki thought about what to do. Should be just go back to sleep - no. No. He couldn't do that, not like this, not like it was now. He couldn't lose himself back in whatever and wherever he had once been, treading gently. Should he roll over in his sleep and still pretend, or would that startle Kyo, thinking that Yuki was turning over in his sleep because distantly he had noticed someone come into his bedroom? 

Yuki fought a desperate and strong war to curl in one himself, protect himself from the direct sight piercing into his skin and through to his bones - that gaze of Kyo's. Yuki wondered what Kyo was trying to achieve, but Yuki already knew it deep down. Yuki knew that if he really thought about it, he understood a large portion of the human psyche. 

That was a uncomfortable matter for him just then, and God knows what time it was and his cousin gazing at his back, nearly audibly willing into the air - so strong his internal feelings - for Yuki to turn over onto his side so he could watch Yuki's sleeping face. 

Yuki pretended nothing had happened, and he treaded gently on the idea of telling Kyo just to get into bed with him if he wanted to - if it happened again. Perhaps the next night? No. Yuki shook that thought out of his head. No, no, no. Yuki's eyes inevitably ended up growing wet as he tried to force himself to go back to sleep. He couldn't stand it. 

_**-** _

Kyo exhaled deeply, his eyes closing. Should just take up smoking, he thought to himself. His mind strayed to the memory of the curving shale of Yuki's spine beneath his skin in the semi-darkness of hid bedroom the previous night. Kyo knew he had committed something criminal by moving in on Yuki in a way that was so predatory and yet so far removed from the desired touch. As Kyo had been near Yuki as he had slept - God, that was a matter of which he had not being able to help himself. After...that thing - and it was just a thing - he couldn't have his body without Yuki's. Kyo wanted to push the covers further down Yuki's side, exposing his skin more. Kyo had wondered just how naked Yuki was beneath the covers. At one point, Kyo had closed his eyes and had imagined Yuki's skinny, naked body. But he had nearly fallen asleep on the floor dreaming such a thing. That was when Kyo had left; he had had to remove himself before he had truly fucked up. 

_**-** _

Breakfast was largely a normal affair. 

Yuki was exhausted. Which automatically made Shigure gaze at him intently, searchingly, and Tohru fuss and worry. Both of the reactions of the other members of the household made Kyo explode. Despite everything, between he whispering darkly to Shigure about what he knew the older man kept on his laptop so get his eyes off Yuki to nearly yelling at Tohru to get some balls and not be such a sook, it never entered Kyo's head that all the time he had been in Yuki's bedroom...Yuki had been concious and knowing of it. On Shigure and Tohru's parts, matters were mainly made worse by Yuki's uncharacteristic silence. A few murmured words. A tiny, tight smile. Kyo could instantly tell - especially in Tohru's case - that she preferred it all before. This sudden new behaviour - what could be described as a "change" even - wasn't going down well with her.

  
School was quiet. Nothing curious or disasterous happened. To them, at least. 

  
Two students were caught fucking in a car behind the sports shed at the school's south back end; one other student was called up to the princple's office due to - Kyo thought Hatsuharu was pretty much correct when he said that there had been something about heroin on the weekend.

  
There was a new guy in their class. When Kyo went in to find Tohru with Saki and Arisa, the whole class was an audience in awe of the new guy in a slouch 2009 British style beanie that was a dark red and a nicely-varnished accoustic guitar singing. The guy's voice was as deep as the ocean. Kyo too was involountarily captivated by it. Some of the girls clapped along a beat, but Kyo thought they single-handedly ruined it. Arisa watched the young man, perched up on a desk, her chin lifted slightly and her eyes nearly glowering. Kyo could tell she was quite taken with him.

  
The new guy's music still played in Kyo's head at half-nine later that night.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuki forces himself not to over-think everything as Kyo moves in closer on his body, and Kyo imagines if it was just the two of then, somewhere else in the world; a second life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it :)

Yuki was forcing himself so hard to not think about it that he was making himself sink. So he let it wash over his mind and drown him. Yuki fell into a comatose sleep in his bed, and that night went the equall sick-feeling Kyo crept into his room, Yuki's subconcious was not even strong enough the sense the other young man. That night, Yuki did turn onto his other side so where Kyo sat on the floor on the other side of the bedroom, Kyo could see Yuki's sleeping face. That night, Yuki slept in his clothes; the school black trousers and the white shirt. He had been too wrecked to be proper. He had just collapsed down in the newfound state. It had been so bad on his soul that he had had to seperate himself from everyone else.

Kyo, with his child-fist of a heart beating thickly in his throat, moving over to the edge of the other side of Yuki's bed, to observe him closer. To see the way the thin panels of light coming through the curtains illuminated the room enough to have a gentle illumination of Yuki in the semi-darkness. Kyo in that moment knew that he wanted him, the light's luminescence so gently painting Yuki's bed, a archangel choir feeling up the back of Kyo's head as dreams dark and sensual filled him up completely. Lost in this madness, Kyo moved onto Yuki's bed, not aware of the mania he was physically enacting by doing this. 

  
The bed dipped beneath Kyo as he moved to be closer to Yuki's body, and Kyo watched Yuki carefully as he laid down beside him. Yuki's eyelids fluttered slightly, but Kyo could tell it was due to a dreamscape instead of a conciousness. Kyo wished - but also did not wish - that Yuki would wake up. Kyo wanted Yuki to wake up and embrace him and have that reality as such a different one so afterwards - providing anything happened at all - they could live on, and not be ripped to shreds by whatever it was they had done together. And, then, Kyo wished that Yuki could sleep forever like this, so Kyo could watch him and touch him and do things to him and therefore it would never be truly real because Yuki wasn't conciously awake. But Kyo knew that nothing would break his heart more.

_**-** _

Distantly Yuki could sense the heat of Kyo's body, the smell of his breath, the weight of Kyo's body on his bed beside him, so close to him. But Yuki struggled to move out of that state.

Yuki's eyes cracked open ever so slightly as he felt one of Kyo's arms slip beneath his body and wrap around him. Yuki found his head and one of his hands against Kyo's firm chest. Yuki could hear and fell the thrum! thrum! thrum! of Kyo's heartbeat running beneath his flesh. Yuki took in the scent of Kyo's skin and his clothes and...God, his body was so warm. It was as though he was burning a fever, the surface of the sun transcended down to this human form...

  
Kyo's skin was so warm that between he and the covers Yuki was overheating; it made him more awake, but simultaneously more groggy. It was dizzying. He had to do something.

  
"Kyo..." Yuki murmured. A split second later, Kyo jolted. "I'm too hot..." Yuki added as Kyo clearly startled. Kyo had moved into a sitting position, ready to run, but Yuki kept him there. Yuki adjusted his laying position in the bed, and after a few more moments, Kyo lay back down beside him. It was intensely different now, though. Any of the intimacy made by Kyo was gone. Pity. Yuki had quite thought he would like becoming addicted to that lace-like toxin.

  
"You've got a really hot body..." Yuki whispered, looking at Kyo. He saw Kyo blink, carefully assesing his next words inside his scalp. Yuki almost laughed. God, what did that sound like? "Your body is too hot..." Yuki inevitably dug himself a even deeper hole. It wasn't working, the way he was trying to explain himself out of it.

  
Or was he?

  
Yuki still stayed close to Kyo. He wondered if Kyo's arm would go around him again.

  
Yuki's eyes slipped close as Kyo's fingertips brushed in a touch over his cheekbone. Both of them knew it didn't have to go any further than this. They could leave it there.

  
"Do you want to stay?" Yuki asked Kyo. Without answering audibly, the response was given between the two of them. Kyo slipped beneath the covers of Yuki's bed and he settled into the same spot beside Yuki. Not quite touching, but close enough. 

  
A queer sort of thrill flooded both Kyo and Yuki. Having someone else beside them in their beds throughout the night.

_**-** _

Kyo imagined if he and Yuki were a couple in their own home. Just the two of them living together. That morning when they both woke up - or, as it had been in Shigure's house, Yuki had woken up first - Kyo could go out into the kitchen where Yuki was filling up the teapot and measuring out the tealeaves, kissing the back of his neck and a arm going around his shoulder. Maybe a hand on his hip. Steam of the boiled kettle rising in the air.

That's how Kyo imagined it. But, rather, it was very different that morning. 

  
Yuki was smiling as Tohru enthused about the new guy in their class - the singer - and how deep and soulful his voice was. Kyo remembered Yuki hadn't heard it yet. He rolled his eyes. Yeah, yeah, Tohru, go on. Anyone could sing...

  
"There's one very lovely one, but it's very sad." Tohru told Yuki. Kyo rolled his eyes again, opening the door to the pantry as her voice dropped. Yuki asked her what it was.

  
"There's this one song called "Yellow Lights."

  
Oh, God, she won't sing it, will she? She can't sing it...Kyo begged.

  
"So what shall I do in the darkness of you?" Tohru thankfully spoke the lyrics.

  
"When you light up my room from July until June..." Kyo pressed the pantry door closed and looked around to where Tohru was sitting at the table and then to Yuki who was standing by the sink, a tea mug in hand. Kyo forced himself to look away. He couldn't make it obvious. Anything at all - obvious.

  
"What would I do if it wasn't for you

  
Would you sing about me like I sing about you?"

  
Yuki smiled even wider, and Tohru blushed ever so slightly. Kyo looked away from it. Only hours later, did he realize it would have came apparent to everyone in the house why he did not make a comment.

Kyo hated that day of school. He just wanted to get home and be with Yuki. It was like a pain that whirled in his stomach. He hated it. It made him feel sick and vicious and tender to anything. 

Arisa Uotani.

Both he and her were suspended for a week after Kyo threw a chair across the class-room and hit the long-haired woman. Nothing would have happened to Arisa, but even the Police had to rule that her cutting lines down Kyo's throat with some scissors wasn't quite a matter of "self-defence." Rather, "mutilation" actually.

Tohru was very upset; no. Kyo shook his head later that night, getting rid of that thought. She was beside herself. Yuki and Saki Hanajama had had one hell of a time trying to calm her down...before she passed out. Hatori had come around na dhad given Tohru's blood pressure a check and some tablets to keep it at a steady level once she woke up, her faint having lapsed into a very, very deep sleep. Despite Arisa getting hit with a twenty-pound chair going at twenty miles an hour, she came around and joined Saki in looking after Tohru, changing her clothes and tucking her into bed. Shigure was angry, but his anger was altered by the sight of Kyo's mutilated skin that would have to be covered up, too much it looked like self-harming cuts. The school and Police had said that Kyo had been hurt, but they hadn't told Shigure...the precise injuries.

Yuki was just quiet.

That night, Kyo needed him more than ever. To see him.

Yuki's mouth pressed very gently over the cuts on the side of Kyo's neck. It wasn't a kiss. Just a touch. Yuki's fingertips gently brushed over Kyo's neck before the touch of his mouth came. Kyo lay on his back, head tipped to the side. His eyes were closed, and he breathed in and out with a peacefulness that was akin to proper, naturalistic sleep. Yuki's body didn't qutie hover over him. A few moments later, after the wound had been fully-seen in the semi darkness, Yuki's body settled back down beside Kyo's. His head laid on Kyo's outstretched arm, Yuki's body against Kyo's.

-

It was too slow, to dragging on Kyo's being. The day by day intention...it wasn't enough. It was never enough. Kyo thought about what could be enough for him, Yuki's head on his arm. But he couldn't do that to Yuki. It would just be a defilement. When in both of their pasts, it would be seen by the two of them as a defilement. Kyo's mouth and nose pressed into Yuki's hair. He felt Yuki's body shift, but Kyo's heart inflated rapidly - Oh, God, what was that? - as Yuki shifted only closer to him. 

"Yuki?" Kyo murmured. Saki and Arisa had stayed overnight, so it wasn't just Shigure and Tohru in their home that night.

"Yes?" Yuki's eyes opened to look at Kyo. Kyo pressed his mouth over Yuki's. It was barely a kiss. But, God, he was dying for it. He couldn't help it. He knew Yuki might not want it. Might not want him near him at all -

Yuki kissed Kyo back. "Do you want to?" Yuki asked. Kyo's heart dropped to a dead beat inside his ribs. He nearly couldn't believe it, but, then, why would Yuki resist him? Kyo became braver.

"What do you want me to do?" Kyo didn't glance down despite wanting to as Yuki's fingertips touched his flat, hard stomach through his shirt he had worn to bed.

"Just do whatever you want, I can work with that." Yuki responded.

Kyo suddenly found himself unable to do anything. He just couldn't. He just couldn't possibly.


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuki dreams he kills Akito, and, he becomes sensitive to the fact that Saki can read him better than anyone else thinks. Yuki has a sex dream, and, Kyo helps him through it, been in Yukis bed at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated in so long, but, here we are. I promise to write better notes

Yuki sent Kyo a video of the new guy in the class at school singing. He had brought a whole band, and they were performing in the sports hall. Not very much allowed, but they were still doing it anyway. Kyo could help but smile a bit at the sight of Saki Hanajama in her black heathen style qipao and long black lace gloves doing the tango to a indie-rock song with one very brave young man...who seemed much like a boy version of her, to tell the honest truth. Arisa and Tohru were dancing like maniacs and Momiji joined them. 

Kyo trained and did other work throughout the day, waiting until Yuki came home. He reflected at how much had changed. So inexplicable...that fight. It had been a peak of the two of them, between teh two of them. Some sort of horrific finale...something achieved. Now it had lapsed to this. How bizarre it was, how...there were no rules. There was boundaries...but then there were none. It was all a matter of choice. Taking the leap. Letting in the vampire on the front door-step, diving into the Winter's ocean -

Touching Yuki.

Kyo frowned and ducked his head. Hatori and Shigure wanted him to disinfect his neck everyday, rub cream onto his skin, minimise the matter of the scarring. Kyo thought - in a way perhaps a bit disturbing - that the cuts Arisa had made looked like gills. Kyo felt sorry for her; Arisa was upset over what she had done. Kyo could imagine exactly how she felt. The same horrifically sharp and haunting black shame made his head swim and his skin shiver as well.

-

Yuki dreamt that Kyo got into a punch-up with Akito, and killed -

He got rid of the thought. He suddenly felt Saki Hanajama's eyes on him. He fought the urge to shrink. Yuki remembered Kyo saying about Saki been a "pyschic freak". Yuki didn't agree with the freak part - Saki was very good and nurturing to Tohru, looked after her in her fairly naive state - but Yuki didn't deny the "psyhic" part...especially considering what he himself was, plus the entire Sohma family.

"You know that I can't show you me, give you me."

Yuki would swear blind to any God that it was Kyo's voice from Kyo's body, right beside him, talking to him. But there was no one there. Kyo wasn't there.

Saki Hanajama still gazed at his back.

"I can't show you this run-down horrible version of myself, for fuck's sake. I wear a mask again and go to see you."

This time, Yuki did shrink, his heart clenching painfully in his chest, and his stomach knotting violently.

"But I still want you."

He was going to have to do something, and something quick. Yuki went over and said hello to Saki. She immediately assumed he was looking for Tohru. With a Deity-like grace, she left the language class and Yuki by her desk she usually shared with either Tohru or the suspended Arisa, and went to find the other girl.

-

Yuki was still awake when he heard Kyo's footsteps come up the hall. Yuki sensed him hesitating outside the door. Yuki observed it. Was it Kyo's choice to only come in when Yuki had turned off the lights and had gave the impression of sleep? "Kyo?" Yuki said. He had been reading sections of three different books at once; a very old print of garden hydopolics from the 1870's, and the other two were school books, relating to Maths. He put them into a draw on his bedside table as Kyo came into his room. Kyo wasn't wearing coverings on the cuts on the side of his neckc; they were simultaneously disturbing for the thick violence of them and beautiful in the way that tattoos were upon human skin. Kyo and sat down on the egde of Yuki's bed, about halfway along the edge's length. Yuki had his legs crossed, in light coloured cotton sleeping pants and shirt. Kyo was still in his jeans and a t-shirt.

"Hey." Yuki said. Kyo hummed slightly.

"Come here." Yuki told Kyo. Yuki was having a very hard time at trying not to lose it whenever Kyo kissed him; this shockwave ripped through his body and it was both good and uncomfortable. Yuki knew that's why people made sound, they moaned, they reacted by clawing onto the other person and engaging them in closer, giving them the same feeling. Yuki was having a hard time trying not to pull away with a shiver at the touch. Yuki didn't hate it; not in the least. It was just overwhelming.

When Kyo went to move away, Yuki pulled him back in and pushed him down onto the bed.

"What the hell are you doing, rat? Stop." Yuki's insides twisted as Kyo put him down. Yuki moved away from being over Kyo, and Kyo launched back into the sitting position he had been originally in. Yuki's eyes went to Kyo's neck, where the healing cuts had split open and were weeping blood. He realized Kyo might suddenly be in a lot of pain. Without realizing quite what was happening for a second, Kyo pushed Yuki down to the bed and moved over him, straddling his hips, and kissing his mouth, hard and desperate. Yuki was lost in the suddeness of it all, not keeping up the pace that Kyo set.

Yuki was drowning, and heat flushed down his body and into his abdomen, too much to bear. "Kyo..." Yuki tilted his head to the side, trying to break out from it, trying to breathe. He gasped, unable to help it, as Kyo's crotch rubbed up against his.

He looked up at Kyo, and Kyo looked down at him. It was more obvious than anything; Yuki wasn't ready for this.

Some of Kyo's blood dotted the sheets.

-

Yuki couldn't help but think about all the things he and Kyo could do if he could just fucking handle himself. Unbeknowest to Yuki, the sleeping Kyo beside him thought the same. Yuki gave out a soft moan in his sleep, tucked up against Kyo's chest, heating flooding down to in-between his legs at a uncontrollable state. Kyo's eyes opened a little bit as he felt Yuki's body push in closer to his. Kyo shut his eyes again, his arms tighter around Yuki's body as Yuki's hips rubbed up against his. As Yuki's hips pressed in harder, Kyo returned the thrust.

"Oh, ah...!" Yuki's eyes opened as his mouth and skin were flushed red; the intensity of the frottage had woken him away from the dream that had instigated it. As he stopped, shock and shame filling him up, Kyo muttered darkly about this not being done. He moved over the top of Yuki and continued to thrust their hips together. One of Kyo's forearms was on the pillow by Yuki's head, and his other hand was braced against the wall; Yuki's hand pressed tightly over his mouth, his eyes closed as the feeling washed over him.

"Come on." Kyo murmured into Yuki's ear. "Come for me..."

He rubbed down harder on Yuki, and Yuki's back arched up suddenly, and Kyo's hand that had been bracing the wall slipped beneath Yuki's back, holding him. Kyo was settled between Yuki's legs, and both of them were wet. Yuki gazed at Kyo, his lips parted breathlessly. "Come on." Kyo said to Yuki. "It can be more this this. You don't just have to have it like this."

Kyo understood explicitly that he was taking Yuki's virginity, and who wanted to just frottage when that was the stake to never be gotten back again. It had to be the best; it was the only time. Kyo wished Tohru and Shigure weren't there. Fuck them, Kyo thought.

Yuki was hesitant in his answer. He could he actually do this? "We have to do it properly." He swallowed nervously. Kyo nodded, understanding. Both of them knew they couldn't let it on to anyone else bar them.

Both of the young men took their clothes off and just put them onto the floor. Kyo saw how vulnerable Yuki was, but what about him? Either way, though, they just couldn't leave it like this.

Yuki laid down beneath Kyo, and his chest hitched silently as Kyo's hand slipped in-between Yuki's legs. "You clean?" Kyo asked. Yuki nodded, saying he thought so. Kyo slipped the beginning of his middle finger inside Yuki, and Yuki's hips pushed down on the finger, his mouth coming open in a silent groan. To Kyo that was utterly ethereal. Kaito's finger stroked down the inner walls of Yuki's body, and the gesture seemed to calm Yuki. Where he had been jolting before from the sensation of been touched, these movements grounded him. Kyo really did think that Yuki looked beautiful.

-

Yuki woke up from the dream. He bolted upright. Everything was still on...still alive. He had nodded off reading that old gardening book. The book had fallen to the floor, losing the page he had been reading. Yuki could hear the television downstairs...Tohru and Shigure and Kyo. Yuki covered his face with his hands.

What the fuck was happening to him?

Yuki flushed darkly at the memory of the sex - what he imagined it to be. How apalling was that? Yuki shrunk in on himself. He couldn't handle it. He just couldn't.


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuki watches Saki dance, lost in a little bit of a head space. Both Yuki and Kyo avoid each other, and it makes Yuki bitter and raw inside.

Yuki found Saki Hanajama practicing a mix of slow-dancing and heathen impressionism movement art to "Slow Dancing In The Dark" by Joji, played through a pair of headphones as she later told him. Yuki had gone down to see the school's garden and the octogenarian war-veteran caretaker who took care of it, and the old man had beckoned to Yuki with his trowel. Both Yuki and the caretaker had watched Hanajama in clear but hidden sight; Tohru was her audience.

"She's an interesting young thing." The caretaker remarked. 

"I had no idea she could dance like that." Yuki said, looking at the way that the lines of Saki's body twisted sharply and swayed and sometimes she was just a blur of black, and yet, despite the black, she was the eden born of the purest snow. Tohru was utterly agawp at her friend. It nearly made Yuki laugh. It faintly reminded Yuki of a little child - Tohru's reaction - a little child still discovering the world and the people the world was full of...

Well, in a way, that truly was the case, wasn't it? For her?

"Do you know the girl?" The caretaker asked of Saki Hanajama.

"Only a little." Yuki told him.

"The girl came down the other day and asked me for some Hawthorn leaves. No problem there, I gave her some - couldn't believe myself when she gave me some money for what could go in a tea-bag. Bless her heart." The old man shrugged his creaking, rheumatic shoulders. "But what would the girl be doing with them, do you think?"

Yuki wondered. "People use that sort of thing in face creams or muscle oils." he quickly lied, not knowing at all. "Her grandmother has osteoarthiritis. I think it might be that."

The caretaker clucked his tongue. "Poor old dear. I've got some of that. Fuckin' horrible thing it fucking is."

Yuki couldn't help it. He burst out laughing. But, in doing that, Tohru and Saki's heads looked in their direction. He had disturbed the peace, but he couldn't help it.

-

The week had passed. Kyo's neck wasn't fully healed up, yet, so he always kept his collar properly up and securely with the regulation tie. 

Kyo had forgotten how loud the high-school was. Or, rather, he had gotten used to how quiet life outside school was.

Yuki didn't purposely seek out Kyo, and neither did Kyo to so to Yuki. 

Both young men wondered when they were going to lose it. The constant fine line and the sheer tenacity was wearing them both down into people they scarcely recognised. Kyo was largely silent or otherwise cold, eyes flashing like Winter nights and causing cracks to snap through air that he made freeze as soon as he entered people's space. It was as though there was a fear, but how strange it was to Kyo that people were scared of Arisa Uotani, who had cut his neck. It seemed to them as though he had cut her. He was the assaulter, to be fear. Yes, of course, he had started it by throwing a chair at her. But, the irony was, she hadn't been injured by it. The bloody thing hadn't hit.

Yuki became bitter and dark, a being of raw fury, burning like rum thrown on a fire. That's how he felt on the inside anyway. It didn't seem very apparent on the outside. Yuki wondered then if it was even real if no-one else could tell. But, the irony was, Kyo had noticed out of anybody else.

That night when Kyo came into Yuki's room, he thought of how whatever it was between he and Yuki - why was it always taking place at night and in this bloody room? - Kyo asked him if he was alright. 

Yuki didn't really answer him at all.

-

It was Saturday morning. Kyo found Yuki in his garden weeding in a old pair of jeans and a shirt...Kyo found himself stopped. That was a very old shirt of his. He had given it in a bag to Shigure - once a year they cleared out anything they didn't need. And with the fabric wearing away very thin and the hem coming down, Kyo had gotten rid of it. But it seems Yuki kept it for working his plots. Kyo blushed darkly at the thought of Yuki in his clothes. 

"Could you stand to come outside with me for a bit?"

"What?" Yuki straightened up hesitantly from his garden. kyo sighed, roughing up the back of his neck.

"What I mean is...do you want to get out of the house with me?"

Yuki didn't really show any sign of response. Kyo hopped over the garden fence and went over to him, hands stuffing into the pockets of his jacket. "Look, the only time I get to see you is when I get into your room after midnight." Kyo looked at Yuki. "Let's get us out of the house..." Kyo trailed off. He suddenly didn't feel that well in what he was trying to ask Yuki. To his honest amazement, Yuki nodded.

"I'll just change, these don't smell very nice." He gestured down to his shirt and jeans. Kyo said how he recognised them as once his. Yuki's face coloured. He said he hoped Kyo didn't mind. They lapsed into a slight embarrasment for a moment as Kyo assured him that it was no problem, he'd thrown the cloth out anyway, and Yuki explained that they were just work clothes, that he didn't go around -

Kyo pinched Yuki's hip. They both looked at each other. Almost, almost...there was a warmth. 


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyo wonders if they can't actually make their relationship work and Yuki asks Kyo if he's truly the man he thinks he is. Yuki's thoughts overtake his mind until he can't stop them, and, make him lash out at Kyo as they try again to have sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems to be the same theme repeating itself over and over again but these chapters are reasonably short and there's ninety of them in total, so, watch out

The weather was only four degree's that day but it was officially reported to feel like minus-five.

"Do you think we can actually make this work?" Kyo looked to Yuki. They were leaning against a free grey-stone wall and a misty rain fell down onto them, the drops floating as they came down, so utterly weightless, and the occasional drop of tree leaves came down; acorn and elm.

"What if you're not the man you think you are?" Yuki asked. Yuki's words stunend Kyo. He was blown away from the familiar waters he always treaded in, ones that lately - especially as far as Yuki was concerned - had been changing depth and acidity and temperature so very much.

"What if you can be more than that little boy getting fucked by Akito and saved by Hatsuharu?" Kyo replied. Hearing the echoe of the words coming from his own mouth, Kyo cringed internally at them. There were vile, attacking, a trigger. But he hadn't meant it like that. In a way asburd for lucky for him, Kyo's tone portraying what he meant changed the weight of the words themselves. Yuki looked to the ground, swallowing the bile that had rose into his throat. That was...those words were to close to comfort. Too close for any form of fucking comfort. 

Already still, a different kind of feeling of that state washed over him as he felt Kyo's hand on the back of his head, touching his hair, touching him. 

This is never going to work. This is never going to last. It can't. We're fucked forever, we're always going to be like this. We're fucked-up human beings. We need to die. It's disgusting. 

Yuki swallowed again, something twisting him inside. 

This isn't me; but I don't know what is lately. I feel disgusting. But is it just me or is it time or is it just fucking you, Kyo?

Yuki breathed in shakily, and looked up to the sky. So loud were the thoughts in his head and so heavy was Kyo's closed off expression that Yuki didn't know if those words - that sound with such gravity - had he actually spoken them aloud? He didn't know. It was such a fine line...and he just didn't know.

I don't know how to think of you, or how to know you. Something in me goes, some other universe, yes, you could be so in love with that person. But person - the percieved idea - well, that's just it. A percieved idea. And where do you come into it? You don't. You just don't - you can't. It doesn't work like that. 

Yuki looked to Kyo. 

And I'm so scared. I get so scared sometimes and it's ridiculous but if you just observe the psychopathy of our whole situation it's amazing that it's not like this every second of every breathing, living day. I worry about Kika. And I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything. Things that I've done...and, any other times...I'm so sorry.

Yuki deflated, feeling exhausted and empty and cold and worthless. Kyo didn't seem to appear as though he cared very much. A part of Yuki was hurt by that, but that was so complicated. He tried to not care as well, and, instead, as though a tree struck by lightening, it licked up like flame inside his veins. Yuki knew he was young and ashamed and sick. Fucking God, everyone in their family was. Everyone in the whole wide world was. But this was how people like them got notorious.

The two of them walked home with a quietness between them by a whole, own world raging inside their individual heads and bodies. Both were surprised to find that they were the only ones home. Neither Shigure or Tohru were about. Yuki looked to the side, feeling Kyo's presence, then looked over his shoulder at him directly. Words were left unsaid between the two of them. Was it the right time to this now? And what was it they were going to do now? Anything that they could possibly do could fuck them up for the rest of their lives.

And yet...how strongly it was...the vampire knocking on the front door.

Let him ruin you or not? Coursed through Yuki's head. To him, not quite yet reaised, was this unshiftable belief that this could effect him more rather than Kyo. Kyo was never bothered by anything. Yuki couldn't imagine him ruined by something like this. To him, Kyo didn't work like that. He wasn't like that at all. 

Yuki's eyes slipped closed as Kyo's arms went around him from behind, and Kyo's head rested on Yuki's shoulder. Yuki could barely breathe. His breath hitched as Kyo's lips pressed to his neck. 

To Kyo, Yuki's skin was so warm...it was hot. Like he was burning a fever. Kyo wondered how much Yuki could burn; how much could he possibly make Yuki burn? 

"Hey." Kyo murmured against Yuki's skin. Yuki tipped his head back slightly, giving Kyo more room. Yuki shuddered as Kyo's lips slid up his neck; Kyo's arms tightened around Yuki, supporting him, holding him. 

"It doesn't take long, not unless you want me to." Kyo told Yuki. Yuki's head turned to the side. 

"We can do it." Yuki gave his assent.

"Are you sure?" Kyo asked, his fingertips tracing over Yuki's still clothed hip. Kyo wanted to see Yuki's skin without the cloth covering him.

"Can we do it in my room?" Yuki asked. Kyo let go of Yuki so they could take off the exterior layers, their shoes and coats. When they got upstairs to Yuki's bedroom, Kyo locked the door behind him. Yuki stood there, gazing over Kyo's body.

"Who goes first?" Slipped from between Yuki's lips. Kyo couldn't really admit he felt any braver if he were honest. Kyo brought Yuki into his arms, and, learning as he went along, Yukis' arms wrapped around Kyo's neck. It was indescribable for Kyo in that moment, having Yuki so close to him, the two of them sharing the same breath, the same scent, the same touch, the same sensation. From there, both of them stopped thinking. From there, it was natural. Yuki's hands went beneath Kyo's shirt and felt up his hard, hard skin, before pushing the fabric up over his head. Yuki's hands touched Kyo's chest for a moment, they're eyes locked on each other, before they completely stripped each other. Yuki lay down on his bed, and Kyo moved over the top of him; Yuki's legs parted instinctevly for Kyo, his feet on the mattress, his knees by Kyo's hips. Yuki was in awe of Kyo's lithe body, hard from hundreds of hours of martial arts training. Kyo was in a similiar dispostion of Yuki's fat-less, thin body, all bones but healthy, skin stretched tight over his bones and so intent to Kyo's sight that he drank it in completely. One of Kyo's hands slid under the back of Yuki's neck, and Kyo kissed the side of Yuki's neck. Yuki breathed erratically beneath him. 

"You look so good." Kyo told Yuki, his lips moving against Yuki's neck. Kyo stopped for a single moment as he heard the first moan that he was sure had ever come from Yuki's mouth radiate to the air above and around them. "How does that feel?" Kyo whispered.

"Good." Yuki replied. "Can we hurry up and do something, please?" Kyo moved to look at Yuki's face. A caution rang in Kyo's head, to take this slow.

"Whatever you want." Kyo said, and the words fell like a promise from his lips. From there, they lapsed into a silence. None of them really knew what to do. Sex with...Yuki, and for Yuki, with Kyo, wasn't like a...woman.

Yuki's skin was flushed dark. He couldn't understand why he was having such trouble trying to speak now. "Just...lay down?" He half-said, knowing that no way he tried to put it would he suceed in putting across what he actually meant.

"That's not much." There was the mildest scoff to Kyo's tone. A hint of someone that Yuki recognised came about.

"Well, nothing is happening now." Yuki frowned slightly. Kyo rolled his eyes. He sat up, straddling Yuki. Yuki leant up on his elbows, his eyes catching the sight of the tip of Kyo's hardening cock on his torso.

"Something would be happening now, dammit, but..." Kyo stopped speaking, gritting his teeth, hand running through his hair.

"Get off me." Yuki told Kyo.

"What?" Kyo said, his brows coming together. Yuki sat up and forcibly shoved Kyo off of him to the bed beside him. "Don't you want me?" Kyo inquired, something fiery burning away his insides suddenly. Rejection. Downright his first rejection. It made Kyo feel fucking horrible. He felt like he failed life. Yuki didn't answer him.

Kyo left, gathering his clothes up from the floor.

-

Kyo went to sleep in his shirt and jeans. He couldn't quite explain it - and it sounded mad as well - but...Kyo would have sworn to God that he could smell Yuki on the fabric. Kyo's eyes opened as his bedroom door opened in the middle of the night. He already knew in a way that was beyond regular humanity. He just knew. Kyo's eyes closed as Yuki's naked body laid against his on the side in the bed. Kyo's eyes flew open as Yuki's arms slipped around him and held him close, and Yuki's mouth pressed kisses over the back of his neck.

"Goodnight, Kyo." Yuki whispered, before his soft breath fell in rhythmic breathing against Kyo's skin. Kyo moved over in Yuki's arms, lying so they were face to face. Kyo's hands held Yuki's body to him, and as Yuki slept - apparently not being woken up - Kyo's hands moved in exploration over Yuki's skin. A pride and a glory filled Kyo as Yuki's skin flushed and grew hot due to the touch, his body shuddering and moving closer to Kyo's than was possible as Kyo felt his skin. 


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Yuki is in the shower the next morning, try to call down from his tense, nervous state, Kyo gets in with him and begs him to nor be afraid of him. Their relationship begins to steady and even Tohru and Shigure wonder what's happening to the cat and the rat as they don't seem to clash anymore. Yuki and Kyo both agree that they keep repeating the same car crash of events over again, and, vow to change them. But, to keep up the act of normalcy, they change inside as they begin to clash again to keep Shigure and Tohru happy and inauspicious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does any of you listen to classical music? I wrote a lot of this listening to Rael Jones's composition for the film My Cousin Rachel; it's a very good theme for the aura I'm creating of the novel

Yuki felt his mouth, dry and chapped and marked with little red cuts from teeth and the pulled flesh. It felt horrible, and for a split-second, Yuki thought he could feel Kyo's kiss again. Burning him...

Yuki closed his eyes, letting the hot water of the shower rush over him. It was the only thing that felt right at that moment. Natural. Just as Yuki went to turn the water off a few moments later, he looked around sharply as the bathroom door opened, and then was shut again. His hands sub-conciously came up to his chest, feeling so exposed, one arm around himself and a hand clasped on his shoulder, even though Kyo had seen him fully open the night before. Yuki shuddered internally as Kyo stepped into the shower with him, completely naked. Yuki's eyes drunk in Kyo's own sight, wondering what he was doing, whatever it was that he wanted. Yuki flinched as Kyo turned on the water, and it ran down hot over the two of them. Kyo's arms came around him securely, holding him in close. As Kyo's hair wet, the vivid orange darkened, going slick against his scalp.

"Don't be scared of me." Kyo whispered. "I...whatever it is I've done, don't be scared of me."

A wave of despisation for Kyo's being washed through Yuki momentarily. He couldn't help himself. It was something unconditional. Yuki's arms didn't return Kyo's embrace.

-

A thought occured to Yuki of how it felt that they were too young to be this deep. To be like this with on another.

"You're the devil." Yuki had told Kyo bluntly and insultingly over breakfast. Tohru and Shigure had nearly had a fit when a visible pride came into Kyo's face and it made Yuki burst out laughing. What was happening to the cat and rat?

"You know I don't disagree." Kyo eyes went from Yuki's face to Tohru's and he dropped her a wink. She dropped her cup of tea. Yuki quickly dived over and got her a towel to sponge around the lukewarm liquid from her black school skirt and her tights, and Kyo looked and opined that it was lucky that the cup hadn't broken.

"I don't see the harm." Yuki later murmured to Kyo as they passed each other in the corridors, the thick throng of students trying to get to their classes.

-

Yuki moaned softly, swallowing the white pill with the glass of water. He had no idea why he felt like this; his head was swimming and his chest hurt; all of him felt bloody awful. Kyo saw how he was. He followed Yuki to his bedroom. Yuki didn't shut him out; there was no point in doing so.

"Do you ever get this feeling that we're doing the same thing over and over for too long?" Yuki asked Kyo. The two of them just lay together on Yuki's bed. Kyo hesitated to reply, but in that hesitation, Yuki got his response.

Kyo and Yuki went to sleep that night together, the two of them naked, side by side in Yuki's bed. It felt warm. Safe. Steadily more and more natural.

-

Two weeks went by. In total, it had been a month since everything had happened. Yuki was addicted to Kyo's body and his being when he was with him. But he kept it very secret, and could push it down very well, keeping it hidden. Kyo needed Yuki's help to keep everything down.

"We need to fight, we need to pretend." Yuki told Kyo, the two of them close together in a embrace in the dark of Yuki's bedroom. "You can't say that you don't want to have a go at me?"

Kyo felt very sick inside as Yuki, without realizing what he was doing, took the lead between the two of them. 

Just turn it off. If you turn it off, you can be anything, do anything. Turn off wanting him. Turn off loving him. Turn off being with him until you can. It's just pretending, a voice in the back of Kyo's head murmured the next morning as they both went to go back to the "normality". He listened to it as best as he could. All of a sudden, a different weight came over his body. He felt lighter; not just lighter, but light enough to fly. Run across the earth at a hundred miles an hour. Be a God. A nasty smile curved on his face.

Oh...yeah.

Kyo felt more like the self he had once recognised for the first time in weeks.

The comments started up again. Kyo felt more bad-tempered and disgusted at the sense of relief that radiated from Tohru and Shigure. Yuki's careful submission, the deflection of the remarks. Eyes that didn't follow Kyo's stalked, irritated movements. Tohru was practically floating. Despite everything, Yuki liked the sight of her so happy. Seeing Tohru without a smile on her face was akin to seeing a clock at half-ten in the morning and wondering why their wasn't any sunlight, even hidden behind clouds. Yuki thought that Kyo was happy Tohru was smiling again. Kyo had...there was something there.

Something horrible stabbed into Yuki. A snarl nearly edged his tone, making the pretend nearly come real with Kyo as Kyo made a comment...Yuki felt so dark that he didn't hear what Kyo had even said.


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuki and Kyo finally come together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...

Three weeks later, it finally happened.

It was as though it had never been attempted before. Yuki's eyes drank in Kyo's bare skin of his chest and stomach as though he had never seen it before, and, in a way, he had never seen it in this light before. It was a light both radiating from Kyo's being, and the light from Yuki's being, making Kyo into a different form of perfection suit for how he wanted him, how he needed him. There was nothing else that could set fire to him in the way that that moment did. Everything was within it's place, and it made it harder to believe that this was never around before, and, that it might not be around in the furniture.

There was nothing else that could set fire to me like this, once again the belief echoed in Yuki's mind as he, still fully clothed, had Kyo's lips touch his neck; Kyo was just in his jeans, and that suited Yuki. It was something between the two of them. Not exactly Kyo submitting, but, rather him testing the waters first, offering the first hand across the river by appealing to the better, more confident natures of Yuki's undeniable vulnerability and anxiety but revealing a part of himself, and, it was only a part of himself. It let Yuki see him in a form; see the area where Kyo's heart lay beneath, beating away, let him touch the spots where the beat of Kyo's heart could be felt, let him see, in a unique way, Kyo's own vulnerability in the way martial arts training had toned down his body to a refine, statuesque, perfected state. It was an example of Kyo himself; controlled, defined, owned, but, one day of hard work slipped and it began to fade away back to a less controlled state.

"I'm falling in love with you." Yuki whispered, tilting his head back ever so slightly, giving Kyo room. In a manner almost sad, Kyo pulled away, his mouth leaving Yuki's skin. Yuki's eyes slipped closed to half lids, and, he wondered if he'd just signed away a piece of his soul and his future. The two of them stood in his room, silence around them. Kyo gazed at him, Kyo's arms wrapped loosely around Yuki's hips while Yuki's arms wrapped around his own body as a manner of keeping himself together, not baring Kyo out; his left arm was wrapped around the bottom of his ribs to his side and his right arm bent at the chest, his thin fingers curving over the line of his shoulder. Kyo's head ducked down, and, Yuki's lips parted a millimeter, only a sheer fraction, thinking Kyo was going to kiss him, expecting Kyo to kiss him, but, Kyo's forehead pressed up against his, and, Kyo's nose slid past his. 

"I'm so in love with you..." Yuki whispered, not in control of anything he was doing or saying anymore.

Kyo's arms tightened around over Yuki slightly, and, the transcendent wave of feeling that rushed through Yuki had him breathless and faint and weak at the knees. He shifted his arms and wrapped them around Kyo's neck, keeping him in, keeping him close, even though Yuki just knew that Kyo was never going to stray away from him.

Kyo was never not going to be around.

The last time that the two of them had dared to get this far, it had turned bitter, cold, snarking.

There was no way that the two of them would allow it to be like that this time.

Yuki went to pull his shirt off from over his head, but, Kyo caught at his hands. "No, let me." Kyo murmured. An electric thrill run through Yuki as his heart beat so hard and so fast that he thought it was going to fly out of his chest and go up into the night sky above them.

Don't panic, a voice in the back of his mind murmured. Don't be scared. Enjoy this\par  
Kyo pulled Yuki's shirt off from over his head, and, it dropped to the ground, the two of them in sync, walking over it and to the bed. Yuki moved back, laying down on his bed, but, he watched Kyo all the while as Kyo watched him. 

Yuki moaned softly, his eyes slipping closed as Kyo moved over him and Kyo's mouth pressed to a point on his neck as it dipped into the outer wing of his collarbone. The sensation made Yuki shiver with delight. One of Yuki's hands went into Kyo's hair as Kyo made a mark on him, his teeth nipping in in a way that made Yuki nearly jolt, but, it wasn't a bad reaction.

"Don't stop." Yuki whispered when Kyo paused, his breath exhaling against Yuki's skin. Kyo continued, making the mark and then making a second and third and fourth, laying Yuki down fully on the bed and traveling down his expanse of pale, flawless skin until he reached the waistband of Yuki's jeans. Kyo's nose nudged against Yuki's skin as he undid the button and zip of Yuki's jeans. He chuckled softly when he saw Yuki was naked beneath, not having bothered with underwear.

"Get them off," Kyo said. "I'll be back in a minute."

Yuki watched, his mouth open slightly as Kyo slipped silently from his room. Nonetheless, Yuki had never got out of the remaining of his clothes that fast in his entire life.

When Kyo came back, Yuki was cross legged loosely in the middle of the bed, shoulders hunched, waiting for Kyo to come back as his heart still raced impossibly fast and he tried to gather his thought, purge out his mind, so he could take in everything and remember it.

Kyo was naked as he came back into the room, a couple of condom packets in hand and a small bottle of something else.

Yuki's stomach flipped violently at the sight of there being more than one condom packet. His head swam. Oh, God. All the things that were going to happen...

Kyo moved onto the bed and put the objects in his hand to the side; Yuki's eyes slid up and down part of Kyo's torso as the other young man knelt before him. Kyo's hands slid into Yuki's hair with each thumb pressed along the angle of Yuki's cheekbones to his jaw.

"You mean it?" Kyo whispered. "When you say you're in love with me."

Yuki nodded, swallowing sharply. 

"Good." One of Kyo's thumbs slid down from Yuki's cheek to the corner of his mouth. The pad of his thumb slid ever so slightly past Yuki's mouth as Yuki gazed up into Kyo's eyes deeply; there wasn't really much he could do in a position like this, not that he really wanted to.

Kyo's mouth pressed over Yuki's in a kiss that seared him to his core. Kyo's hands shifted in Yuki's hair all the while, Kyo not breaking the kiss, as Yuki laid back down on the bed again, bring Kyo with him. Yuki's body tingled nearly unbearibly, all raw electricity flooding through him, at the feeling of Kyo's naked body pressed up against his. Yuki moaned again as Kyo pushed his tongue into Yuki's mouth, swiping it over the roof of Yuki's mouth and the back of his front teeth. Not really knowing what to do with this form of intensity, Yuki's own tongue accidentally got in the way, but, blood rushed at a incredible speed to his abdomen, making him hot and tight and feeling like he was going to releas against Kyo's own sex as Kyo's tongue moved over his, massaging it.

It was undoubtedly the best kiss Yuki had ever had in his life.

It knocked him off his perch completely.

Kyo could feel how hard Yuki was becoming beneath him; Yuki's skin was flushed extremely hot, and, he was beginning to leak against Kyo's skin.

Kyo thought it was one of the most visceral things he had ever felt in his life.

Kyo pulled away from kissing Yuki slightly relunctantly, but, in the kisses places were more things to come. 

The two of them working on instinct and all the failed, ruined attempts before, Kyo got down to business, but, he made it as pleasurable for Yuki as he could. Yuki's legs came up, his knees bent with his feet on the bed, and, his legs parted open for Kyo. Kyo hadn't realized until now how much he was craving this sight, how much he had needed it.

How patient he had been.

There was no one in the world apart from the two of them at that moment.

Kyo automatically touched that one place of Yuki's body, and, Yuki shivered at the touch, but, he didn't tighten up, blocking Kyo.

Kyo watched as the slightly younger man moaned loudly and breathlessly as Kyo slipped his middle finger inside of him, all in in one go. As Kyo began to slip that finger in and out of Yuqi, Yuqi's cheekbones flushed one of the richest colour Kyo had ever seen. Kyo interlaced his fingers on his free hand with one of Yuki's for a moment, then, he dipped down to do something he never thought he'd do in his life. 

Kyo felt Yuki's shiver and the intake of breath just before his lips wrapped around the head of Yuki's cock.

"Oh!" Yuki's hips involountarily lifted up into Kyo's mouth, momentarily using him as a sleeve, moaning hopelessly. Yuki covered his mouth with his hand, his head tipping back into the bed and his back arching slightly as Kyo worked on him, still minimally fingering him at the same time. It was too much for Yuki; the sensations of his naked skin been touched and pressed up to another person's naked skin. Another person's hands moving inside him, fingering him, touching him -

Without any warning and Yuki not being able to control his body, he was given his first orgasm by Kyo Sohma. His sight flashed white and ten black, and, the breath was torn out of him but in the best way. Yuki came down Kyo's throat, and, Kyo seemed to have expected it. He swallowed it down quickly, not thinking, and Yuki stared agahast at him, and, even Kyo was a little bit stunned. What shocked Yuki even further was the sight of a tiny trickle of his release coming down from the corner of Kyo's mouth. His stomach knotted as Kyo obviously felt it and wiped it away with his wrist, Kyo's other hand still pressed up against Yuki, his middle finger buried deep inside of him.

"Uh..." Kyo said. "...Want to give it a couple of minutes and then try again?"

Yuki couldn't help it. He burst out laughing, and, his hands came up to cover his face. Before he really knew it or what was happening to him, two perfect, stout tears slipped down from the outer corners of his eyes, down his temples and into his hair.

"Yuki?" Kyo murmured. There was a slight sting as Kyo pulled his finger from out of Yuki's body and Kyo moved over him again. Yuki took his hands away from his face, and, he gazed up at Kyo.

Kyo looked frightened. "Have I - did I hurt you?" He asked Yuki.

Yuki smiled, more tears leaking out of his eyes, shaking his head. "No." He whispered. "No, you haven't. I'm sorry...I don't know what's wrong with me..."

Kyo shifted back, gathering Yuki up in his arms, sitting back with Yuki's body between his legs where his knees were raised up with his feet flat on the bed. "You feel good?" Kyo asked.

"Yeah." Yuki sniffled slightly, his head against Kyo's chest. 

"Good." Kyo couldn't but smile a little bit down into Yuki's hair, feeling the warmth radiating off Yuki's body, one of his hands wrapped around Yuki's shoulder. Yuki's cock was soft and visibly damp and sticky. It made something in Kyo leap up; another new kind of urge. 

"What about you?" Yuki's head angled upwardly to look at Kyo.

Kyo nodded. "It's good." He told Yuki.

"Just good?" Something twinkled in Yuki's eyes.

"Depends how far you take me." Kyo whispered into Yuki's ear. Kyo felt the tremble that ran down Yuki's spine.

-

The next day at school, Yuki could abrely concerntrate on what was being taught. He managed through the day well enough, but, in his mind was a statement that just stayed, burnt onto the surface of his brain:

And all I do is sit and think about you; and if I had known what you'd do

It was about Kyo. Yuki couldn't get it out of his mind. He constantly felt he was on some sort of induced high. He had mever felt like this before in his life; he had mever known anyone that could make him feel like this before in his life. Yuki scarcely knew what to do with himself. There was constantly a sense of warmth in his being, and a energy. When he was away from Kyo, his gut knotted up tightly, and, like a form of poison, though so blissful, it grew steadier over hours and hours until Yuki was jumping out of his skin to see the other man.

As a result, he found a note in his locker the next day:

We need to find our own place where we can go to

That single statement had Yuki in a mess. He felt as though he was going crazy.\par  
Every night, Yuki either slept in his bed with Kyo or in Kyo's bed with Kyo. It was so natural, and, there was no messing about, not anymore.

Yuki had gotten used to Kyo hugging him as they slept, and, Yuki knew Kyo had gotten used to having Yuki there. How long had it been since this all first started? How many months was it? Yuki nearly couldn't believe it was months, but, it was. It had been.

Yuki constantly had girls coming up to him and twittering that he seemed happy, and, even the guys had noticed, all joking and laughing and commented that he was "fucking glowing".

Whatever Yuki felt, and, felt like this, he couldn't hide it, but, it seemed that Kyo could. Kyo hadn't changed. He was still somewhat surly and detached, and, as wickedly humored we ever. Yuki couldn't help but notice him, even though he directly tried not to look at him too much for someone would surely notice, and, it made Yuki adore Kyo and how they were together even more.

I'm never going to give up on this, Yuki thought, gazing at Kyo across the library when they were given different assignments in their kamihira lessons that day. I'm never going to regret it


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyo organizes a secret place for he and Yuki to be together in the back, unkempt gardens of a local inner-city Shinto Temple, and, a much desperate Yuki, trying to teach Kyo, practically has his night ruined by getting sexually harassed by tarts, getting trapped in a train tunnel, getting rained on, and, realizing that both he and Kyo had never thought through their plan for hiding things of their relationship to the outside world properly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Six days without an update! Sorry! It was only when listening to a slowed down version of FAKE LOVE by BTS last night that I could properly write something, so, here we are :)

Later that day, Yuki found another note in his locker.

I know of a place. Just leave school as normal and I'll catch up with you in an hour; get out of the school clothes, all of that shit, and I'll come through the back fence, put another note on your window, then, after that, see me in a one more hour

Think you're Mastermind or Casanova? Yuki wondered of Kyo's thinking, but, nonetheless, the familiar hot, high, and electric buzzing returned to his being and knotted his stomach in delightful anticipation. 

Yes, Yuki agreed with everyone else.

He was absolutely fucking glowing.

Yuki went home, and, did as Kyo asked. At one point he went downstairs as he heard a massive crash. Tohru had accidentally knocked a frying pan from the stove to the ground; the stove hadn't been turned on and the pan wasn't hot and their was no food in the pan, and, Yuki checked she was alright and that there were no chips in the kitchen floor.

There weren't, thank good.

"How didn't I crack it?" Tohru mumbled to herself, looking to the black tiles beneath their feet, hands on her hips. Yuki smiled, thinking she looked rather sweet. "How didn't I just ruin Shigure-san's kitchen...?"

Yuki went back upstairs and, there was a piece of paper laying on the floor of his bedroom by the radiator on the wall beneath the windowsill of the window that overlooked the garden and the leafy view of the city.

Come down to Mihro crossing, turn left, go three blocks, go right past the Shinto Temple of Bakhan street, and, then, there's a really old cottage that was part of the temple; go up the side gate to where all the garden is and wait beneath the weeping willow trees; there's thistles and nettles and gorse everywhere from someone's fucking pot plant back in the day

Yuki nearly laughed at Kyo's words. Gorse wasn't a pot plant. It was a noxious Scottish weed.

From the time Yuki read the note, he looked at the digital clock on the bed-side tbale, reading it's light green numbers, and, the anxious, tight, anticipated wait began. Yuki barely got through it, wanting to rip his skin apart. Ten minutes felt like half an hour; Yuki listened to music through his headphones for a bit, and, along with slowly counting every fifth breath, the time did pass very quickly.

Mainly because he fell asleep.

When Yuki woke up he only had one minute left before the hour had been up. Yuki raced down to the front door, got his shoes on, and, with Kyo's note on his pocket, navigated his way down to the train station to get to Mihro crossing which was nearly five miles away.

Yuki wasn't precisely pleased. It was the evening rush hour, and, for two stops he was nearly face-first in someone's armpit, and, for the next two stops after that he got harrassed into a corner by a group of very rough looking girls that even Arisa Uotani would say were scumbags. Yuki found that, actually, he wouldn't have really minded if Arisa Uotani popped up right now with a pickaxe as one of the rough teenage girls lit up a cigarette which set off the fire alarm system on the train, and, of course, brought the whole service to a juddering holt in the centre of a underground tunnel.

Oh for God's sake, Yuki thought crossly as all the lights went out on the train, making havoc start. Old ladies cuddled up to their even older hunched husbands, babies started crying, people on their way home to their families started complaining and yet that bitch with thick foundation and hair-gel continued to fag on as though she was in a international championships. In the darkness, the orange tip of her cigarette smouldered gently away; every smoky exhale she gave, Yuki breathed in. Yuki soon solved that with a bit of bravery; he kicked her in the shin and made his getaway as she and her friends started screaming like Irish Banshee's. The train restarted ten minutes later when it was found by the conductor that it definitely was just some tart with a fag, and, when tehy arrived at the Mihro crossing train station, two police constables - both female - came down with very angry expressions to essentially have a go at the rough girls. 

Yuki took out the piece of paper from his pocket and checked up where he had to go, and, he just about ran to get there. He turned left at Mihro's crossing, went the three blocks, but, he was slowed down there. There was what seemed to be a thousand people out and about; all the restaurants and late-night cafes and eateries and food-vans were full of life and bustling with customers and cash money profit. Yuki eventually got throguh the throng only to find a even bigger on consisting of German tourists outside the Shinto Temple on Bakhan street. 

Oh, shut up with your stupid, retarded language, Yuki thought angrily as they chattered on, all fat and pale and blonde except one with red hair but cut quite a revolting figure with a beer gut, sagging breasts and red, alcohol flushed cheeks.

Yuki could scarcely believe that one was a woman, but, indeed it was a she.

Cottage? Yuki thought, seeing the old, dilapidated, heritage-listed property in the back garden of the temple. More like a monastery, you idiot, he said silently in his head to Kyo.

Yuki navigated his way through the gardens, and, exactly where Kyo said for him to be, beneath the weeping willow trees, there Kyo himself was. 

"I'm so sorry!" Yuki panted, jogging up to Kyo. "This bitch - ugly, horrible, fucking troll! - nearly started a fire on the train -" Yuki barely got any words out as Kyo's hands came to either side of his face and kissed him. Yuki took a step back, all sense of conciousness going from his being for a moment.

But, at precisely that moment, it began to pour rain. Yuki and Kyo had still been kissing as it had begun, and, as they felt the first drops of their head, the beautiful and ancient old weeping willow trees sheltering them from the rain, Kyo tipped his head back and laughed, his hands still either side of Yuki's face, fingerts intwining themselves gently in Yuki's hair.

"What a beautiful night!" Kyo whooped out, laughing even more.

Yuki took in a breathless inhale of oxygen that was more like a gasp. "If we get wet how the fuck are we going to explain it?" He said pointedly, looking at Kyo's handsome face, his red hair going a darker shade of red as rain got onto it. 

"We'll work it out." Kyo murmured, kissing Yuki again. Kyo groaned softly against Yuki's mouth. "I've been nearly killing you for this..."

Something in Yuki stopped, ever so slightly. He pulled away a little bit, but, Kyo chased his mouth and got it back again.

"You've been fucking glowing lately, you know that?" Kyo whispered. "Fucking glowing. Brighter than the sun. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to not look at you when I want to touch you? Damn it, you don't know just what it's like...you've got me so much that I can't breathe..."

Yuki was going to respond - barely - before he swore, hunching in on himself. A gigantic splash of water had just come down from the hanging branch canopy of the weeping willow three and had squarely hit his head before running down over his back and shoulders.

It was bloody freezing. 

"Oh - argh!" Yuki flapped his arms, absolutely sopping wet, but Kyo just laughed. "Why are you so happy?" Yuki demanded. "You hate the rain..."

"Nah, don't hate it so much when you effectively get a bucket of it on you." Kyo remarked, crossing his arms, a big grin on his face. Yuki shook his head before scrunching his hair gently in his hands, trying to wring some of the water from it, but, every drop he got out of it was nearly immediately replaced a second later by a new drop. In the end, Yuki just gave up, his hair now a scrunched, damp, slowly getting wetter mess. 

All the while, Kyo gazed intently at him.

"What?" Yuki said.

"Hey, don't come at me like that." Kyo's arms went around Yuki, moving to where Yuki had moved away. "I'll have to punish you..." His mouth touched a spot of Yuki's neck below his ear.

Yuki scoffed a laugh, his head unconciously tipping back a little bit at Kyo's touches. That single remark got to the essential core of what their relationship had been for a very long time. The give and take, the push and pull, Kyo constantly snarking and loud-mouthed and foul-mouth and angry, Yuki mainly silent but not taking any of Kyo's rubbish in the process, not entirely un-partial to kicking him in the nads.

"Hey," Yuki said softly, arms entwining around Kyo. "Let's do something while we can, yeah?"

As Kyo hummed against Yuki's neck, it caused a vibration that made Yuki shiver. Kyo chuckled barely perceptibly against Yuki's skin. Yuki knew for a fact that Kyo took that as a personal win. 

All their hopes were dashed by a sudden shock of lightening that lit up the sky and the boys vision a blinding white for a single moment. 

It was too dangerous to be outside with this sort of weather. 

Which let them with another disaster that neither of them had thought about.

Shigure and Tohru would have a fit if they weren't home for dinner, and, every minute past seven 'o' clock - which would be considered the latest time - with them not home for be a new nail in the coffin. They were both sopping wet, they were both missing at the same time, they both had no explanation for absolutely anything. 

And both Kyo and Yuki had no idea what to do, but, only one idea came back to them and neither of them wanted to do it. 

Go back to the main house and crash there.

Yuki didn't want to be within a thousand meters of Akito and Kyo knew for a fact that he'd do his nut if he had to deal with any of the family back at the main house.

"Can we sneak in and stay with Hatsuharu and then if Shigure asks..." Yuki's faint, searching, desperate words died on his lips as he realized that even that wasn't an option. Hatsuharu wouldn't shut them out - God no, the man was an angel even if he did tire Yuki sometimes - and he'd lie for them as well, but, if they stayed with Hatsuharu, someone else in the main house would find out. 

There was also zero chance of relying on Hatori. Momiji wasn't as stupid as he could sometimes seem and he would work it out, and, Hatori would know straight away; he knew inside and out how the Sohma family worked, and, the behaviours, both dark and light, of it's members. Between the dramas of Ayame and Shigure who Hatori grew up with, nothing was off limits, nothing was left to imagination.

If it could happen, it was a definite possibility.

Yuki and Kyo looked at each other. They had fucked it. They had fucked everything up. 

But, then, there was now.

Kyo knew that Yuki had had various health issues throughout his life, particularly with his lungs, and, if he brought back a Yuki that would then get very sick to Shigure's houe, Shigure would kill him, and, Yuki would do also; he'd have to be taken back to the main house and be under the observation of Hatori. If that happened, Kyo would have to kill himself. He wouldn't get to see Yuki, and, trust Hatsuharu to unconciously tread into territory he couldn't claim as his anymore.

"Let's go." Kyo's hand grabbed Yuki's elbow. "Shut up and let me talk when we get back. I'll make up something and just go along with it..."


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyo and Yuki lie their way around been out late to a alarmed Shigure who checks they haven't been out shooting up heroin, and, Kyo tugs Yuki off in the shower before Yuki suggests himself performing anal sex on Kyo. This terrifies Kyo, and, he does everything possible to get out of it.   
> Tohru then brings the laughs the next morning when she innocently comments to Kyo that he doesn't have to make his bed every morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :) I wrote quite a bit of the work today so there'll be some stuff to sink your teeth into :)

As predicted, Shigure didn't let them get away with it, and, Kyo and Yuki didn't miss out on what to do about it. They stood in the kitchen, dripping wet and dark-faced as Shigure steadily ran out of steam and figured that any internal combustion he had over the young people in his house was nothing compared to the internal combustion of the dripping wet and freezing cold cat and rat in front of him.

"What were the two of you doing out anyway?" Was Shigure's first question after inital growling and snarking between all three men.

"I was at the library, he -" Yuki jutted a thumb at Kyo who flushed angrily, convincingly. "- was doing something else but we ended up on the same train home and it was shut down in a tunnel because some -"

"Whore." Kyo interjected foul-temperedly.

"- Lit up a cigarette and set off the fire alarms." Yuki scowled. "We both managed to get off at Mihro crossing and then we had to walk back in the rain."

"It's his fault!" Kyo snapped, jutting a finger into Yuki's shoulder. Yuki rolled his eyes.

"Oh, shut up." He put down bluntly.

Shigure believed every single world of it. 

"Ok, sorry, boys." He said softly. "Just as long as you're not shooting up heroin..." He raised an eyebrows expectantly. Kyo swore foully and Yuki scowled even more as, nonetheless, they rolled up the sleeves of their shirts to show Shigure their flawless arms.

After that, they went upstairs to see Tohru who was still up, waiting for them.

Kyo barely mumbled a word to her and shifted past her in the hallway upstairs without shoving her to get into the bathroom for a hot shower. Yuki explained in a much kinder manner what had happened.

Tohru nearly jumped out of her skin.

"How long were you stuck for?!" She exclaimed.

"Only about twenty minutes but then we had the five mile walk home in the rain because all the inner-city services stopped at about seven 'o' clock and by the time everything happened and the police came down to Mihro's Crossing - it was a disaster." Yuki told her. Tohru shook her head and said about how women shouldn't smoke - no one should smoke. 

Yuki bid her goodnight and said he'll be quick in the shower after Kyo so he won't keep her up, and, she blushed and assured him it was alright. "Oh, stay in there all night." She invited him. Yuki smiled. Never had he come across a woman with this level of patience. 

After Tohru had gone back to her room, Yuki went quickly into the bathroom. Kyo opened the door of the shower and glared around at Yuki as he took his clothes off. Yuki nearly laughed at the sight of Kyo still managing to see with his wet hair in his eyes.

"What the hell were you two talking about for so long?" He said brusquely. "Get in."

"What?" Kyo had spoken to quietly for Yuki to hear. As Yuki climbed into the shower and asked Kyo to repeat what he just said, Kyo immediately shoved him up against the white tiled wall, and began to tug him off. Yuki jolted violently at the sudden, responsive heat going down to his abdomen and the inside of his legs and he was protected from making a sound as Kyo put his tongue in Yuki's mouth. Yuki's hands tightly gripped into Kyo's hair, accidentally pulling some of it out if honest, rocking his hips back and forth into Kyo's fist as much as he could manage, Kyo's body pressing him up tightly against the wall of the shower.

Keeping Yuki quiet, Kyo managed to make Yuki come - again - in barely under a minute. Joys of the still relitively virgin body, it could be described.

Yuki's head fell down to the crook of Kyo's shoulder and neck after it, feeling limp, Kyo's arms around him the only thing keeping him up.

"Fuck you..." Yuki whispered, barely perceptible. "Fuck you..."

Kyo chuckled softly. "Oh, that's a nice way to talk to me after what I just did for you." He murmured into Yuki's ear.

"No, fuck you." Yuki's head rose so his eyes met Kyo's, and, Kyo had never seen such a dark, hedonistic, erotic look ever in Yuki's eyes.

Kyo never dreamed that Yuki would ever look at anyone like that, let alone him.

Then, Kyo really understood what Yuki meant. Oh, fuck, Kyo immediately thought. Oh, shit.

"No, no, we can't now..." Kyo said. Thoughts flooded his mind. He was suddenly terrified. No way could he - no. Just no. He couldn't possibly -

"Yes, we could." Yuki came in a little bit, his lips brushing over Kyo's in the lightest kiss. "I'd just have to shut you up."

Kyo lost his insides; he literally felt them drop. Oh. Oh shit. Oh God.

"I'm not just getting used as a sleeve by you." Yuki whispered in Kyo's ear. "So, you'd better lay down for me and open up..."

Oh my God, Kyo thought. What the fuck have I done?

Kyo very, very quickly tried to think about he could possibly get himself out of this situation without directly saying "no" to Yuki. The two of them were pressed up together as though they were to never be parted in the shower in the bathroom of Shigure's house with both Shigure and Tohru home - Tohru was just down the hall, for God's sake!

He didn't want he and Yuki's relationship to be just another of his mistakes.

A flash of doubt suddenly passed Yuki's eyes. "Don't you want me to..." His whispered words hovered on the brink. Even though Kyo wished it wasn't this way, Kyo leapt on this chance to get himself out of the shit.

"Yeah." Kyo nodded a little bit. "It's not you, I just don't think I can...I..." He looked down between he and Yuki's body, intending to look at the ground but instead caught sight of both he and Yuki's lengths. Don't be stupid, a voice in the back of his head said. Look at him. He won't split you open but you won't not feel him either. Anyway, he's the guy happy enough to have you inside of him.

Yeah, but he wants me to that, Kyo argued back against his own thoughts. He wants me to bury myself in him until he's just out of it...

Unconciously, all those thoughts made him warm below. Yuki's lips pressed up against Kyo's temple in a brushing gesture, and, he said that he wished either he or Kyo had their own house so the other one could come around.

"Yeah." Kyo murmured. "I wish we had that, too."

He and Yuki spent a few minutes of silence together before climbing out of the shower and both going into Yuki's bedroom. They went to sleep together that night, one of Yuki's hands wrapped Kyo's dick.

Oh, you're good, was one of the last concious thoughts that went through Kyo's mind before he went to sleep.

Everything was relitively okay until the next morning.

"You don't have to make that bed every morning, Kyo." One simple comment from Tohru made Yuki drop a bowl of rice, Shigure burst out into laughter so immense he nearly pissed himself, and Kyo go bright red before roaring his head off at Shigure who was practically rolling about on the floor with absolute delight. Tohru was beyond flustered.

Poor girl, Yuki thought. Must think that anyone she ever comes across ought to be signed off into a Asylum

It turned out that Tohru had been doing the washing, and, after fetching Yuki and Shigure's things - both Kyo and Yuki in varying levels of tone and choice of words told Shigure he was a perverted cunt and obviously a conservative voter by making Tohru the household slave - and, well, that had been her discovery in Kyo's room.

A perfectly made bed.

Little did Tohru know that her single, innocent comment got the much older and "wider lived life" Shigure in hysterics because she had inadvertently put across that Kyo was sleeping with someone else in someone else's bed, and, that's why he had nearly pissed himself laughing.

Said comment was also the reason why Yuki ruined his breakfast and Kyo had made his throat hoarse before eight 'o' clock in the morning.


	11. Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tohru is in tears as the class bitch cuts her hair in maths, and, Yuki and Kyo watch on as Arisa Uotani nearly kills the said bitch. Kyo and Yuki go back the next say to their secret place and Yuki finds out more from Kyo about how the place came to be. Yuki and Kyo spend more time at their secret place, and, Kyo finally performs anal sex on Yuki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you having a nice time? :)

The class bitch was expelled from school due to efforts from Arisa Uotani and Saki Hanajima after said class bitch cut Tohru's hair with a decent pair of scissors in the back of their mathematics class.

Tohru was in tears, Saki Hanajima had the look of the animal in her eyes, and, Arisa Uotani was doing her nut. Every swear word beneath the sun came from her mouth, even some new ones that even Kyo hadn't heard of or used before.

"What's the bet Uotani'll have her dress up around her thighs chasing after the bitch with an axe while Hanajima levitates on a black cloud and follows after her shooting lightening from her fingertips?" Kyo whispered to Yuki in a bet in the hallway. Yuki couldn't help but grin, quickly ducking his head down to the ground.

Barely a second later, screams filled up the air.

Arisa Uotani had stomped the class bitch's head into a toilet in the girl's bathrooms before attempting to drown her in one of the sinks, plugged and filled with water.

It was amazing that Uotani wasn't expelled.

Yuki was halfway through wondering if Uotani secretly had a politician Uncle when Kyo found out from Hatsuharu:

Uotani's Uncle was the Japanese Government's head for police and local security affairs.

"How did Haru find out?" Yuki asked, his eyebrows shooting through the roof.

"Hatori." Kyo whispered. "Hatori came with Shigure to collect Tohru and give her some blood pressure tablets and then he saw Uotani's said Uncle coming in and telling her he was very proud of her."

Yuki nearly burst out laughing. He buried his face into the crook of his elbow, pretending he was coughing as he couldn't help but grin. 

Kyo had to quite brutally pinch him on the hip to get him to stop doing that.

They continued on through the school day, Tohru now missing her plait and her now loose hair quite sharply cut in a diagonal jaw-length bob. Yuki heard Saki Hanajima croon softly to Tohru, smoothing some of her hair down, "Give it two weeks and you'll look like your Mum, Tohru." Before kissing her on the forehead.

Something bugged Yuki later. "Alright, know-it-all, why did Uotani's Uncle come along instead of her Dad?" Yuki asked Kyo later on when they were watching the news. Before Tohru had gone outside into the garden to collect the now dry washing before she forgot about it and it got damp again overnight and Shigure went to his study, Kyo and Yuki had been falsely bickering about the television remote and how the other one should just die and why couldn't there be any peace?

Partly the reason Shigure went to his study. As Shigure had left the room, Kyo had proudly given the V's to Shigure's back and Yuki had had to hold his breath as to not burst out laughing.

"Her Dad's a loser and he called up the brother." Kyo simply answered, immediately silencing Yuki. Yuki rather wanted to cuddle into Kyo's side and then find something else on the television to watch, but, Tohru was bound to come back.

What a pity it was that neither of them had their own place.

But, Yuki risked it. He moved across the three-quat. wrap-around sofa to Kyo and asked him, "That place you found...there was other stuff there, right?" Yuki barely murmured, barely loud enough for Kyo to hear let alone anyone else. "The rain just ruined it, right?"

Kyo nodded. "Yeah." He said.

Yuki shifted back over to his side of the couch just as Tohru came back in. 

"Could you help me fold the sheets?" She appealed to Kyo. 

Oh, no, you should have put up at least one swear word, Yuki thought humoredly to himself as Kyo rose from the couch obediantly and went to help Tohru fold her sheets. Or are you just still treading water over her saying about you making your bed?

A day later Yuki and Kyo went back to the place Kyo had half-organized for the two of them. The train was busy but no tarts were lighting up fags, and, they didn't have to stop in the underground tunnels again.

They went down the sides of the old Shinto Temple buildings and the temple itself to the weeping willow trees, and, careful not to driectly step into a nettle bush, Kyo took Yuki on a roughly fifty meter walk to a old and unused but secure and sturdy looking two story wooden barn building. "Have to go upstairs." Kyo pointed to a ladder at the sight of the building that led up to a windeye in the side of the loft of the barn. "I got the ladder down earlier. No tramps or hobos come in through here. Explain it to you, later."

Kyo went up first and helped Yuki into the loft, not thinking him weak but just a tender gesture.

Yuki's mouth came open a bit at the sight. It was lovely. Inside the barn there was no sign at all of any sort of machinery, straw, animals, or, signs that there had ever been machinery, straw or animals in there. From the loft was a latch-up door that had a set of stairs that went down below, and, downstairs was impeccably neat and open with exposed timber features. Meanwhile, in the loft, was a partially made-up mattress sitting on the floor with a couple of lamps that evidently had batteries in their bottoms somewhere and a couple of cushions.

"In the war they used to store alcohol, antiques and other things in here; because it was all covered by old garden it wasn't visible if the British and the Americans wanted to drop some bombs." Kyo explained, pointing to the floor, meaning below.

"Kyo, it's great up here." Yuki said to Kyo, genuinely meaning it.

"I'd been thinking about it for a couple of weeks before." Kyo admitted, scruffing up the hair at the back of his neck a little bit embarrassed but for no reason at all. "Bit hard to get stuff up. Sort of wondered if Tohru's noticed the missing sheet when she was doing her washing." He pointed to the mattress.

"Kyo, where did all this stuff come from?" Yuki asked.

Kyo shrugged. "Don't panic if I tell you, right?" He quipped. Yuki nearly did panic. "This is all stuff from the main house." He gestured about. "And there's a monk inside -" He gestured through the wall to the Temple on the other side of the monstorous, uncared for, overgrown garden. "- Who know my Grandad and was happy enough to be a bit of a sly cunt for my sake." Kyo smiled slightly. "So ancient he's nearly dead but he was able to get some young bloke that he conned to bring the mattress up and the rest was me sneaking in stuff in my school bag and all of that shit, right...?"

Yuki gazed intently at Kyo. They could both stand up easily without having to stoop, and, Yuki walked over to Kyo.

"Thank you for doing this for me." He said, wrapping his arms around Kyo's neck and kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you for doing this for us."

"Now worries." Kyo mumbled, feeling a bit abashed. He had a momentary thought, wondering if he was always going to be like this over things like this in front of Yuki.

"You want to do it?" Yuki asked, his nose and forehead bumping up against Kyo's.

Kyo genuinely thought about it. "Depends." He mumbled.

Yuki looked over Kyo. "I don't have to get inside you." He said. Kyo groaned a bit. "What's the matter?"

"You say something simple and nessecary to the current point like that and I get hard." Kyo flushed. Yuki's eyes captured his being fully, reading him perfectly. Yuki smiled a little bit. 

"You've always been like this." Yuki's lips brushed over the corner of Kyo's mouth for a sheer moment as he spoke. "That one little thing that gets at you...you want to do it right, you just think it's going to be fucked up?" Yuki hummed softly. "And, last time anyone checked, the rat doesn't top the cat..."

"God thinks so." Kyo mubled, thinking of Akito.

"Well God obviously doesn't know that the rat in the creature itself can't fuck a cat." Yuki raised an eyebrow.

Kyo suddenly laughed. "I thought you were been metaphorical about us." He explained himself.

"Only in changing forms." Yuki smiled gently. "I do have to admit that I never thought I'd be doing it with someone in what is essentially the back garden of a Shinto temple. Kyo nodded, appreciating that fact. "Yeah, but it's sort of cool, right?" He answered. Kyo pressed his mouth over Yuki's, and, the familiar, searing, electric rush of it filled up with bloodstream, just as he liked it, just as he wanted it, just as he needed it. Kyo felt Yuki's fingertips touch his neck, and, the rush of memories of he and Arisa's fight where she cut his neck came rushing back to Kyo. He had been so obsessed with Yuki and the thought of him and all the things that they could do that Kyo had barely thought about it at all. "You can barely see them." Yuki murmured against Kyo's mouth. "You've healed well. It's like you don't notice them at all." "I don't." Kyo answered. "I just notice you." As Yuki flushed, Kyo slipped the tip of his tongue just past Yuki's lips, swiping over just the inside of Yuki's upper lip. Yuki moaned a little bit, and, Kyo kept on going. His tongue touched against the sharp tips of Yuki's teeth, scraping past them as he pushed inside to feel more of it. He did the thing that Yuki adored, massaging his tongue over Yuki's, and, Yuki kept moaning helplessly, short, quick breaths their only key to not passing out. Kyo and Yuki half stumbled over to the mattress bed on the floor, and, it began to rain again. The sound hit the roof sharp and hard only a few feet above their heads, and, the scent of it filtered through the planks of wood that constructed the old storage. It was lovely to be under it, the noise of the rain veiling the sound of their bodies. "You have to do it to me." Yuki told Kyo as soon as they got all their clothes off. "I've been waiting months for you as it is, just do it already..." Kyo smirked down at Yuki. He couldn't help it. Something about their old manner of their relationships came back to him as Yuki blankly begged him just then. "Yeah?" Kyo remarked, his lips brushing up against Yuki's as Yuki laid down on the bed beneath him. "Do it or I'll push you over and do it myself." Yuki warned Kyo and Kyo's lips moved the curve of Yuki's neck, breathing in and wondering how fast he could push it before Yuki snapped. "God, you want it..." Kyo chuckled lowly. "Oh, enough." Yuki did precisely as he said; he roughly pushed Kyo over and straddled him, Kyo's erection rubbing up between his thighs. Yuki truly meant business then. "I barely get any time with you, there's always something else happening, and I want it now, do you understand?" Yuki told Kyo bluntly. "Don't you dare screw it up and ruin it for me." Kyo took it as it was. "Yuki, do you -" "Yes, of course, I know." Yuki interrupted. "Everyone knows, Kyo." His cheekbones coloured. He ducked his head for a moment and Kyo sat up on his hands. One of his hands came up and ran up and down Yuki's thigh. "Let's not rush it." Kyo said. "We've got hours." "A hour." Yuki corrected. Kyo sighed. "Let's not fuck it up, then." Yuki nodded. Something in the air had shifted; it was obviously Kyo teasing Yuki too much, but, Kyo nor Yuki quite knew what it was. But, they soon returned to the same, familiar, smouldering intensity that they had had before. Kyo insisted on Yuki laying down on his back, and, over the next few minutes, Kyo pushed his fingers out and in out of Yuki, pleasuring him enough by fingering him, doing his best to stretch him open in the process. A huge weight disappeared from Kyo's body when he removed his fingers from inside of Yuki to see that they were perfectly clean, and, if more, Kyo continued more enthusiastically. Too enthusiastically in fact. Between Yuki's moans and Yuki pushing his hips down onto Kyo's hand, masturbating his hard length off at the same time, a trick of blood appeared from inside of Yuki, running down Kyo's fingers to his palm then to his wrist. "Oh, fuck -!" Kyo automatically stopped, and, taking his fingers from inside of Yuki, he realized that it was serious. He had scraped Yuki's internal walls, and, there was a lot of blood. It terrified Kyo. He had really hurt Yuki and yet Yuki didn't seem to mind. "I don't feel anything." Yuki said as he looked between his legs. "I'm not in pain, keeping going." "You're bleeding." Kyo emphasized. Yuki gazed at him so intently that a shiver went up and down Kyo's spine. "It's ok." He whispered. "Just slip inside." Even though his common sense knew better, Kyo did as Yuki asked. As he held his length in his hand and pressed the tip of himself up against Yuki's entrance, Yuki's blood immediately got onto his flesh, and, it amazed Kyo how hot is was. As Kyo began to press inside, Yuki moaned again, and, Kyo wondered if he made the terrible decision just to push all the way in at once. Kyo thought he had for a moment as Yuki made a loud "Argh!" sound before letting go a shuddering sigh, a smile coming onto his face. "Oh God!" Yuki laughed. "See, that wasn't hard, was it?" Kyo leant down and gave Yuki one of the hardest, most involved kisses in his life. Yuki moaned happily, and wriggled hips up against Kyo's, knees either side of Kyo's hips with his feet flat on the ground in the traditional sense. His arms wrapped around Kyo's neck, and, Kyo felt Yuki's leaking erection up against his lower stomach. Kyo felt Yuki's body constantly shivering a bit beneath him, Yuki not letting him go, not stopping kissing him, and, unknowingly to Kyo, all his body weight essentially was pressed down onto the part of him that was buried inside of Yuki directly on his prostate. "Yes, yes, yes...." Yuki breathed out in time as he allowed Kyo to let go just enough to start moving in and out of him. It was only a couple of moments and Yuki just about cursed his still relatively virgin body while Kyo just laughed and reminded him that they can always just do it again and again and again...


	12. Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyo gets angry with the innocent Yuki as he spots Hatsuharu flirting with Yuki at school and can't do anything about it. Even though Yuki apologizes he and Kyo have a fight where Kyo chokes Yuki and hits him. Then when Kyo tries to make it up to Yuki, Yuki says hell only forgive Kyo if Kyo lets him to the one thing Kyo's terrified of. Shigure brings Tohru home, and, in helping Yuki water his garden, she says something that shocks them all. Shigure begins to realize the world of his young charges is changing and he can do nothing apart from stand aside and watch things crumble into a ruin upon themselves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a dark chapter, bit, it's supremely honest. There is quite a bot of Shigures insight emotionally into this chapter at the end

Kyo nearly lost control of his temper as thoughout a school day that next week as he saw Hatsuharu flirting with Yuki. The irony was that Kyo appeared to be the only one who noticed it.

Apart from Yuki, of course.

Therefore, when Kyo was more than a bit cross at Yuki later that night, it was just Tohru and Shigure thinking it was Yuki and Kyo's usual relationship, while, Yuki felt a bit more frightened. Yuki knew he should have told Hatsuharu to leave it out, but, as well, Yuki had been able to get within roughly five meters of Kyo all day. 

Not that he usually would get within five meters of Kyo in day to day life, anyhow. 

Yuki waited and wait for Kyo to come and join him in his bed, but, Kyo didn't. Yuki got up to go and get Kyo, but, his bedroom door was locked. Yuki could have killed him.

You bastard, Yuki thought. He went back to his bedroom, wrote a note for Kyo, and, slipped it under his door. You'd better bloody read it, he added. 

Once he was back in his room Yuki wondered if he should lock his bedroom door as a form of revenge, but, it was technically him that had started it by not controlling Hatsuharu's behaviour better.

A few hours later, Yuki woke up at the sound of footsteps in the hallway, but, they didn't come into his room. Yuki rolled over silently and found that there hadn't been a return note from Kyo pushed under his door either.

Oh, fuck you, Yuki thought of Kyo, turning back over huffedly.

The next morning Yuki ignored Kyo and felt tempted to kick him in the shin. If he was in a relationship with a girl, no way would he want to hurt her, but, as far as Kyo went, Yuki could have ripped his fucking face apart.

Yuki thought that after a while Kyo came to realize this.

As they went into school, Yuki parted way with Tohru as she went off to see her friends, and, Kyo came up behind and grabbed his elbow. "Come with me." He quickly said before it looked peculiar. Yuki glared after him but followed nonetheless.

Yuki followed Kyo around to behind the silence block, and, they glared at each for a few moments.

"You have no bloody right to be so rude to me." Yuki told Kyo bluntly and first-off. "Don't you dare fuck around with me, you irritating cunt -"

Kyo grabbed Yuki by his neck and shoved him up against a wall. "Don't you fucking talk to me like that." Kyo increased the pressure on Yuki's throat, strangling him before shoving him away roughly to the ground, the brick of the wall scraping Yuki's skin in the process, before storming off in a horrible temper.

Yuki lay on the ground for a few minutes, looking up to the dark and cloudy sky above them.

That day, to say that Yuki was uncharacteristically nasty was an understatement. He told three people to fuck off, another two to grow up, and he asked another seven in a group if they were mentally retarded as that must be the only excuse for their psychotic and revolting behaviour. The only person Yuki was in the least bit kind to was Arisa Uotani who came over to ask him if he was alright.

"No, everything's not alright." He said to her shortly. Arisa left him be after that, and, at the moment, she was probably the only person in the Universe who he didn't want to kill at that precise moment.

Even Tohru Yuki couldn't stand the sight of. To him, she was just as bad as the rest of them.

Automatically when they got home Shigure picked up on everything; Tohru looked as though she was going to cry, Kyo looked foul-tempered as ever, but, nothing was compared to Yuki. The only time Shigure had ever seen a anger that all-consuming was in the psychotic Akito.

Shigure took Tohru out, saying about some insignificant thing, but, the obvious truth was that he wanted her out of the way for when Yuki exploded. It had happened just once before in living memory, and, it was Hatsuharu who had handled it then. It had been very, very fucking nasty, and, Yuki, who had still been a child at the time practically...it had astonished anyone that anyone could be like that. Hatsuharu had been covered head to toe in serious bruising, cuts, blood and two seriously broken bones, and, a cracked tooth. Yuki had been a bit bloodied too, but, nothing was compared to Hatsuharu, who, ultimately, especially at that point in time, was very, very much in love with Yuki.

That night, Yuki dreamed about killing Kyo, and, the feeling carried on into the next morning. Shigure wasn't back in the house and neither was Tohru. Yuki almost wondered where they were but then he found that he really didn't care where they were. 

Kyo came down a couple of minutes after Yuki got up, and, he observed Yuki in the entrance to the sitting room where Yuki was sat down, staring the the dark-screened television, evidently thinking.

"Yuki." Kyo said, before coming across the room and sitting down on the couch beside Yuki, wrapping his arms around him, but, Yuki pushed his body out of Kyo's grasp, glaring at him nastily.

Kyo was lost for words. He didn't know what to do or say. "Yuki, come on, talk to me." Kyo appealed.

"Why the fuck do you lie to me?" Yuki suddenly hissed, eyes ablaze.

"Yuki, what are you talking about?" Kyo said.

"You said you loved me and yet you -" Yuki began, but, Kyo didn't let him finish.

"Yuki, no, no, no." Kyo forcefully gathered Yuki up into his arms, and, as Yuki tried to claw his way out of Kyo's grasp again, Kyo held onto him even tighter. "No, Yuki, no, don't do that, please."

"Get off -!" Yuki struggled.

"No, I'm sorry, please, listen to me." Kyo begged. "Yuki, I love you, I do, please don't say I'm lying, I'm not, please just listen."

Yuki stopped fidgeting long enough just to let Kyo let him go a little bit, not holding onto him so tightly anymore.

"Listen to me, please?" Kyo said. Yuki just looked at him. "I do love you, I really love you. I love you so much, too much, if I'm honest. I should never have done that to you. I don't even know why I did. I was just terrified that you'd leave me. That everything would get fucked up. And, I know that's no excuse for anything -" Kyo broke off, and watched as Yuki undid the front of his jeans and slipped him down his hips a little bit. Yuki got himself out, and, he looked directly at Kyo.

"Do it." He said. "Prove it to me and I'll forgive you."

Kyo's throat went dry.

Well, of course you have to pay a price, don't you? A voice in the back of his head said.

Despite that, Kyo needed Yuki more than anything else in his life, and, unless he did this, everything was going to be ruined. Kyo had read the note that Yuki and pushed beneath his bedroom door, saying how he was sorry and he should have told Hatsuharu to back off and that he should have made more of an effort, but, that day at school when Yuki had spoken to him like that, Kyo had lost it. There was no excuse for it, as he said, but, just now...

Oh, God.

"Yuki, I -" Kyo began, and, within a second, everything took a turn for the worst as Yuki tucked himself back into his clothes and he stormed away from Kyo. Kyo leapt off the couch and went after him, grabbing at him but Yuki shoved him away. Kyo recaught Yuki again in his arms and Kyo didn't let him go.

"Yuki, Yuki, don't do this, please." Kyo begged. 

"You don't fucking deserve me." Yuki growled.

"I know." Kyo said. "I know, please, just don't do this, please."

Yuki gazed at him listlessly, absolutely still. Kyo tentatively put his head forward slightly, and, Yuki didn't pull away. Scarcely, Kyo's lips brushed up against Yuki's. 

That was all Yuki let him have.

Shigure came back not too long after to check what the state of his house and it's other occupants was like, and, later that afternoon, he came back home with Tohru.

For the past day - nearly two days - Tohru had been staying at Hatori's with Momiji and had had a fairly nice time with the half-german cousin. She talked about how Hatori snored, and, Yuki was amazed at how Hatori hadn't killed Momiji when Tohru told them all that, last night, Hatori was snoring so horrifically loud - like a freight train - that Momiji had woken him up five times to get him to stop. "On the fifth time, he started to hit Hatori with a pillow and started to swear at him. Momiji was sick of waking up, and, whenever a noise went off - birds in the trees, a car on the road outside - he seemed to snore louder in protest."

Shigure burst out laughing. "Oh, I know that!" He said. He then told Tohru about how sometimes when he was younger he would play random things on a tape recorder when Hatori was asleep to see how he would react. "It was a fascinating psychlogical experiment." Shigure remarked, going out into the back garden with Tohru. Yuki followed, needing to water his plants, and, Kyo followed. Yuki hideously thought Kyo did it so he could watch him, but, Kyo, amending himself, barely, had come out to make sure that Yuki didn't suddenly throw a brick at Shigure when Shigure started talking about Ayame to Tohru. Shigure would have to say something embarrassing, and, Yuki was on still on edge even though he seemed much happier in manner than before when the sweet-natured and faithful Tohru wasn't around.

"The best one was the gunshots." Shigure chuckled, exhaling a lung of cigarette smoke. He, Kyo and Tohru watched as the thick blue fog-like cloud then rose into the air before dissipating. Shigure and Tohru were sitting in old British wicker chairs that Kyo knew for a fact were Shigure's grandparents; those chairs had been brand new in 1937, and, to tell the honest truth, Shigure was not entirely skilless when it came to looking after material property; books, homes, vintage furniture.

Adolescents.

"The wind changes, you move." Kyo remarked, leaning against one of the pagola's beams in the back garden. "She doesn't have to get cancer from breathing in your second-hand smoke."

"So you'll get his second-hand smoke?" Yuki called out in a dry remark, re-filling up his watering can by a tap at the side of the house.

"Well, that'd be fuckin' right!" Kyo hollered. 

Shigure just laughed, Tohru blushed and smiled a bit, and, as Yuki watered the lettuces, she got off her chair on the pagola and went down to his garden. Kyo and Shigure sat in comfortable silence, hearing Yuki tell Tohru about the different plants and what required the more of less sunlight, moonlight, heat, cold, water, intensive labour. 

Tohru picked off a pod of peas and, slitting open the pod with her thumb-nail, ate one of the peas. She got a case of the giggles suddenly. Yuki asked her what it was about. 

Tohru fully opened up the shell without splitting the outer seam and pointed to the three peas inside, all large and round and perfect. "Me," She pointed to the centre one. "Uotani-chan." She pointed to the right one. "Hana-chan." She pointed to the left one. "Peas in a pod." She glowed. She then made a combination of Yuki, Kyo and Shigure, but, she said something that rattled Shigure, Yuki and Kyo's cages:

"And Shigure's the one in the centre because he's seperating you two so you don't fight and hurt each other and whilst keeping you seperate he always does as the middle one does; looks after things." Tohru kindly-toned remarked.

Both Kyo and Yuki went very, very cold.

Shigure watched Tohru intently, the ash at the tip of his cigarette smouldering away gently, working down millimeter by millimeter, until there was a inch of ash at the cigarette, just hanging on until a breeze blew through the air and swept it over the linen of Shigure's robes. 

Tohru's now short hair was illuminated in the opaque sunlight that shone down through a overcast sky. The weather was humid, heady, shadowed, a thunderstorm yet to break. Monsoon weather; Japanese weather.

Yuki absent-mindedly touched it as he picked up his watering can and walked back over to the tap. Tohru's cheekbones burnt as hot as Kyo's flame-like hair, but, it was nothing to the sick burn in Yuki and Shigure's bodies for they both shared a equal though:

Things were changing. Things had changed.

It wasn't just Tohru's new hair, or the stay at Hatori's, or Yuki and Kyo's new level of toxicity.

It was the creaking steps of the hardwood floors in the bedroom hall that Shigure heard in the middle of the night, and how he saw he could hear not one, but two young male voices in the bathroom which was above his study. It was how Hatori had said to him of Kyo and Yuki when he had dropped Tohru off to stay, "You can't control this. Don't attempt to.", and how even God, Akito himself, said something which now shook Shigure.

"One of them's going to die." Akito had mumbled, still half asleep from a fitful dream that had had the idly-watching Shigure now touching her shoulder, wrapped up in her covers on the kang on the floor.

Shigure couldn't help but have this feeling he was watching everything change before him, like a captured film, just sitting there in his chair, holding a cigarette which was now burnt away to nothing.

Shigure finally let go of that final breath of smoke. To Shigure, it was like the starting gunshot at a race. 

The final try...

Before one had to let go and step away and watch things crumble apart.

You can't control this, Hatori's voice spoke to Shigure, so clear in the air, that Shigure felt as though Hatori was right beside him. For a brief time as Yuki watered his garden with the help of Tohru and Kyo just watched them with a scowl on his face, Shigure wished Hatori was there beside him. Don't attempt to


	13. Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuki and Kyo have a sudden burst of lasting maturity as Tohru's period comes in the middle of the night leaving her humiliated about a mess of her bed and bedroom carpet only the boys can take care of while she is otherwise preoccupied and Shigure is hopeless. This good deed if human decency earns the boys a rush of affection from Arias and Saki in the middle of the atrium causing a small riot. Yuki forgives Kyo and promises to do better by him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit humorous in leaning. Even though this is a insightful work into this concept of human behaviour between the two boys - though fiction - I don't want it to be utterly fucking miserable or just angst attended porn. The song mentioned is "You" by The 1975 from their 2013 EP, SEX

"Oh my God..." Yuki walked past the toilet - seperate, just down the hall from the bathroom - and heard Tohru's voice. She sounded very alarmed.

"Honda-san, I won't come in, are you ill?" He asked, tapping the backs of his fingertips on the door.

"No, no, no, I -" Tohru stammered, flustered. 

"You got your period?" Yuki looked as Kyo came down the hallway and shouted.

Tohru stammered more incomprensible words.

"Yes, she has." Kyo affirmed to Yuki. "You out of pads?"

Tohru managed a shaky yes.

"I'll grab the spare packet out from beneath the sink in the bathroom and leave them outside the door for you." Kyo told her.

Neither he nor Yuki got an answer.

"Honda-san?" Yuki knocked again.

Suddenly, Tohru was crying. 

Oh, for fuck's sake! Kyo silently mouthed. "Is that just period hormones or is it something else?"

"Oh, God, I, I've -" Tohru hiccuped emotionally. "I've made a terrible mess."

Yuki didn't even know where to begin to think, but, Kyo did. Kyo went down the hall and around the corner to Tohru's bedroom. "Oh, I see." Yuki heard Kyo say before he came back around the corner. Kyo beckoned Yuki over to him. "You get her her pads, and tell her to not worry, I'll look after it."

"Look after what?"

"Get her the pads and some tissues."

Yuki went into the bathroom and, strangely, didn't feel any embarrassment as he thought he would have done as he picked up the plastic wrapping of the pack of "ladies things" and a spare box of kleenix tissues and put them out the door to the toilet, telling Tohru was there and that he was going so he wouldn't see her. Yuki figured it must be the internal, "Carry on, then, the girl need's a hand" gene that all men seemed to have - deep-down - when it came to women, care or no care.

Yuki then saw why Tohru was upset.

There was blood all over her bed linen and the mattress, and, then, on the carpet of her bedroom. Kyo was on his hands and knees with a bottle of lemon cleaner, sponging the blood from the carpet before rubbing it furiously with a second damp cloth, an old ice cream container full of water, now a gentle pink colour, by his knee.

It seemed Kyo also had the "Carry on, then, the girl need's a hand" gene.

Or, rather, perhaps it was, "Shigure's hopeless and someone has to do it" education that both Yuki and Kyo possessed, Yuki thought just afterwards.

"No, don't help, I'm fine." Kyo said bluntly as Yuki went to help. Yuki sat on the end of Tohru's bed where there was no blood on the left-hand corner side, but, then, slid of the end and onto the floor. His legs stretched out straight in front of him, crossed at the ankle, before Yuki felt them fidget. He brought them up and crossed them.

"You see how thick the mattress is?" Kyo pointed to it. Yuki nodded. "Blood will have seeped all the way down, no point trying to get rid of it but I leeched out some of it." He frowned suddenly. "You remember when that troll of a thing from Tampax came to school when we were about fourteen and started talking about eggs and -"

Yuki snorted a laugh. "Oh, God, yeah!" He exclaimed. "All the girls kept looking at me when the moral obligations of new Father's - the baby thing - came along."

Kyo chuckled. "Yeah, I remember that. Didn't Hatsuharu come up to you and offered to spread around that you were infertile due to some condition?"

Yuki blushed. "I think he meant it as a joke."

"You took it as a joke." Kyo remarked, looking up at Yuki. "So much so you collapsed in the hall and had to have ventolin steroid pumped into you through a ventilator in the nurses office."

Yuki smiled. "She was really pretty - wasn't she named after a colour?"

Kyo nodded, remembering. "Ao." Ao was Japanese for Blue. 

They went silent for a few moments. "Let me help." Yuki gestured. Neither of the boys were revolted that that had come out of Tohru. She was helpless at the minute, and, someone needed to help her. And, both of them knew that if they were ill Tohru would stay up through the night to make sure they were alright if they had no on else, either.

Later that day at school, Arisa and Saki soon found out about Yuki and Kyo.

Kyo nearly leapt out his skin when Arisa hugged him. 

In fact, the whole school nearly jumped out of it's skin. Arisa did it in the middle of the Atirum at lunch.

But, that wasn't the most unprecedented matter.

Everyone went into a depraved response of behaviour when Saki kissed Yuki on the cheek and whispered that he was blessed.

The boys - the football players, the swimmers, the average guys, even some of the bookish, quiet sorts - applauded and cheered and began to sing some sort of rubbish before the musician student that everyone had gossiped about when he had first come to school started singing a translated English song about how Saki was "a little lady". The girls, on the other hand, the predatory, offended look in their eyes was more terrifying that a stephen king creation.

But, then, frankly speaking, they could never recieve what Saki did. 

Yuki couldn't help been a bit shell-shocked by the event. Kyo's jaw had dropped open at the sight of the faint lip-tint mark on Yuki's cheek. Several people came over, getting photogaphic evidence of that lip-tint mark, and, Tohru tucked her short hair behind her ears.

"What a day!" She remarked, looking a bit light-headed.

The school princple came into the Atrium had put his blood pressure through the roof by yelling at the musician boy who had raced off with new mates of his to borrow a government-paid electric guitar from the music room and had randomly got up onto one of the lunch tables in the atrium, playing the instrumental rift to "Smoke On The Water", and, had shouted as he begun, "A dedication to the Art Deco Gothic Circus that it Saki Hanajima!"

In the midst of all of this, Yuki wondered where Hatsuharu was. Smoke On The Water was one of his favourite songs. Yuki realized he hadn't seen Hatsuharu for ages, not since the day when Hatsuharu tried to spend some time with him.

But, acknowledge the devil and he shall appear. 

Momiji weaved his way through the crowd, any student that had been outside now come into the now packed atrium, and, wrapped his hand around Yuki's elbow, leading him over to the other side of the hall.

The princple carried on shouting for nothing, the musician played the music louder, and, the school began to chant and clap as Hatsuharu tangoed with fucking Arisa Uotani. 

"What is happening to us?" Yuki barely whispered, looking to Momiji. Momiji laughed, his skin postively glowing.

"I don't know, but, it's nice that nice things are happening to us." Momiji remarked in a rare mood that Yuki couldn't quite describe.

All of a sudden, Yuki was hit with a tsunami feeling of uncontrollable human desire.

All he wanted to do was kiss Momiji. He didn't understand why. Maybe it was how Momiji suddenly looked, his cheekbones squarer and his mouth full in a Germanic way due to his German mother, and maybe it was also how light and care-free everything felt even though it was a absolute riot around him.

Yuki lost control. He grabbed Momiji and went to kiss him, but, without a split second passing, the lights went out in atrium, and, the water sprinklers were turned on. Boys swearing and girl's shrieking filled the air in a way that was deafening on two different forms; the boys language was downright disgusting and the girl's screams drove deep into the core of the brain of a person listening.

Yuki half buried Momiji's head in the crook of his shoulder and neck, covering his ears as freezing cold, chemical scented water rained down on them, but, nothing was more powerful than the holler of the school principle.

"NOW THAT'S GOT YOU LITTLE BASTARDS UNDER CONTROL!"

Yuki laughed. He couldn't help but laughed. Some of the chemicaled water got into his mouth so he spat it out. A British rock song he knew from Hatsuharu played in his head.

"Sometimes it takes a bit more

Sometimes it takes a bit more than you!"

It's lively, realistic, British-aestheticed anthem filled up Yuki's head. 

I've got to find Kyo, Yuki thought, filling the melody and the drums and the booming crash of the happy if slightly toward British rock song filled up his veins like alcohol and his bones like a epiphany, a sense of new life.

I've got to love him harder, Yuki thought of Kyo, promising himself that when he saw Kyo again he was going to kiss him and kiss him and kiss him....


	14. Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuki's insecurities come to hit him with the force if a ten ton weight as he realizes he could actually be happy with Kyo. He and Kyo frottage in the bathroom while Shigure and Tohru have drifted off asleep downstairs with a vintage film playing on the telly. Yuki forgives Kyo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly am terrible at writing notes. The problem is ilk think if something intelligent and relevant to write at four in the morning, and, frankly, I can't be fucked getting up to type it, sorry loves :) 
> 
> (God, I sound like an absolute twat!!!)
> 
> And, uh...well...I still have tits idea of what to put, I'm so, so sorry

Shigure wasn't exactly impressed until he found out what happened, then, Yuki and Kyo and Tohru couldn't stop him laughing. It was a bit of a shock, in all honesty. Shigure was smooth in many different matters.

And, now, he seemed to laugh all the time.

"You've got the stop this." Even Shigure had noticed his laughing. "I'll have to start writing comedy instead of -"

"Good, you dirty fuck." Kyo said.

Even Tohru had a giggle over that. She had never read any of Shigure's works since finding out that they were a bit..."funny". But, Saki had done it for her.

"Revolting." Had been Saki's review.

But it was Tohru's genuine and affirmed belief that Shigure was a nice man, deep down, even though she did have to admit faintly that, yes, he was absolutely filthy.

Yuki, Tohru, Kyo and Shigure all stayed up very late. It was an unusual practice; they were usually rather seperate in doing their livlihoods together.

Maybe it was the sense of happiness in the air. Promise. Delight. Warmth.

Love.

Maybe that was it.

Tohru had put on a old black and white English film with Japanese subtitles, and, so, they all sat around and watched it and had dinner. 

Yuki gazed over the top of Tohru's head to Kyo on the couch. Kyo noticed Yuki once or twice in his periphial vision, and, he wanted to gaze back too, but, he couldn't.

Shigure knew about Tohru's English film and its actors and its production, so, he kept Tohru enthralled. The boys would never tell Tohru to her face, but, she was still quietly incredibly ignorant to absolutely everything. Maybe age would fix it; maybe Yuki, Kyo and Shigure themselves could fix it.

Maybe Tohru was an example of a ordinairy teenager, a ordinairy adolescent growing up.

But, Tohru was nothing like that. She was the most un-ordinairy girl in the whole wide world.

At one point, Yuki went upstairs to clean his teeth because he knew he'd be too tired after the film, and, Kyo followed him. Yuki tried not to smile and make a mess of himself by dripping toothpaste everywhere as Kyo leant against the doorway of the bathroom with his hands in his pockets, watching Yuki through half lids.

When he was done, Yuki wiped the back of his wrist along his mouth and looked at Kyo by looking at his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

A minute rushed by, made sacred by Yuki and Kyo gazing at each other intently.

Kyo moved across the bathroom, and, shutting the door behind him, wrapped his arms around Yuki's body from where Yuki was still bent over the sink slightly, having not straightened up from spitting out the tap water he used to rinse his mouth. Yuki was acutely aware of the gentle sense of heaviness in the form of a secondry person and the feeling of Kyo's body against his again. 

Yuki couldn't believe the tsunami wave that washed over him, of how much he had missed Kyo.

Kyo's lips pressed up against his neck, and, Yuki's eyes slipping to half-lids, he wondered if it was Kyo's purposeful intention to make him watch them in the mirror like this.

One thing for sure:

Yuki thought he was the most revolting sight he had ever seen.

What does he even see in me? Yuki thought. How desperate can Kyo be that he goes for...me? His cousin but - I - just - somebody...as disgusting as me?

Yuki clenched his jaw together to stop a moan as Kyo's hips rolled against his backside, Yuki's head falling down. Yuki's hips pushed back against Kyo's, meaning to turn around to see his face, to tell him something, but, instead, Kyo rubbed up against him again.

Yuki couldn't stop all the blood in his body rushing south. He couldn't stop the warmth growing in his abdomen. He just couldn't...

"Kyo." He whispered.

Kyo's hand pressed over Yuki's mouth. Yuki's eyes widened. On the other side of his neck, Kyo's mouth pressed there again. Yuki shivered as the hot press of Kyo's tongue went over a patch of his skin, and, he could see just how weak he looked, his reflection in the mirror. Kyo looked so strong, so capable, so right in doing this.

Yuki thought he looked weak, like someone's toy.

Kyo's toy.

Well, it's all you are, a voice in the back of Yuki's head whispered.

Not if I make him mine first, Yuki told his inner consience.

Yuki reached back behind him and ran his palm over the shape of Kyo's hardened length in his jeans. Yuki waited as Kyo undid his jeans with a free hand, still working on Yuki's neck, and, Yuki's eyes slid to Kyo's face in the mirror to see what happened when he began again.

Kyo's teeth nipped him harder than before when Yuki directly ran his thumb over Kyo's tip and pressed them.

Kyo had a soft groan sound of pain, but, it wasn't a grevious pain. Yuki barely, barely smirked as he pressed the tip of Kyo's length against his jeans where normally Kyo could enter inside. The thought occurded to Yuki a moment later that he'd have a spot left on his trousers, but, it was Kyo's spot, so, it didn't matter in the gross sense of the matter.

"You've got a face straight out a magazine." Kyo growled softly in compliment to Yuki as his hand groped the inside of one of Yuki's thin thighs.

Yuki suddenly couldn't think. There was something so deep in those words that it stunned Yuki's sense. And, so, it came out.

"I forgive you." Yuki whispered, rubbing his hand back and forth in a grip along Kyo's length, masturbating him off. Kyo's breath fell heavy and silent against the side of Yuki's neck, arms wrapped around his hips, unable to do much else other than feel what Yuki was doing to him when there was so much he could do to Yuki. He forgives me, the words ran like water over Kyo's foggy yet electric mind. He forgives me...

The memory of what Yuki looked like so exposed flooded over Kyo's mind, and how it was for he himself to put himself inside that body in front of him, touch him, feel him, taste him...

Still can't believe you put Yuki's penis inside your mouth, a voice in the back of Kyo's consience murmured. You had that moment right, where you thought you couldn't do it, but, then, you did

"Yuki, let me..." Kyo murmured against Yuki's skin.

"We've been gone too long as it is." Yuki answered.

"It's only some film we don't get." Kyo said.

"We disappeared together." Yuki told him. "We've got to - argh...!" His eyes rolled up into the back of his head and his moan died in his throat by his own will as Kyo bit his neck. Yuki's legs went out beneath him, and, he slipped to the ground, twisting around as he did. Kyo turned as well, tucking himself back into his jeans so he didn't obscenely flash Yuki who was now holding a hand to his neck, his mouth hanging open in shock. 

"Are you bleeding?" Kyo asked worredily but was cut off by Yuki hissing quietly, "Quick, get back downstairs and if Shigure says anything laugh and say that the idiot upstairs walked into a doorframe or something, go!"

Kyo took one last look at Yuki with wide eyes before he vanished. 

Yuki gingerly took his hand away from his neck to see a slight amount of blood on his skin.

Christ, how am I going to cover this up? Yuki thought, but, then, a split second later, he felt ready to throw up out of fright.

Kyo still had an erection and he'd just gone downstairs.

Yuki covered his face with his hands and sunk down further onto the tiled floor against the cupboards. 

A few seconds later Kyo came back into the bathroom.

"They're dead asleep back on the couch." He pointed to the floor, indicating downstairs. Yuki covered his mouth with his hand as he went to laugh.

"Oh, I see." He said. He gazed at Kyo as Kyo gazed down at him, obviously thinking. Yuki wondered if Kyo was looking at his neck and felt reminded of how Arisa Uotani had cut his neck. Kyo knelt down on the ground and gathered him up in his arms tightly; Yuki's head hung over Kyo's shoulder, and, he wrapped his arms around Kyo also. 

"Do you want to go to bed?" Kyo asked.

"Yeah, with you." Yuki told him.

They were comfortably silent for a few moments.

"Just after you left I thought to myself, "He's got a massive erection, why did I send him downstairs?"." Yuki told Kyo. Kyo chuckled apprecitiavely into Yuki's neck, one of his hands stroking gently through Yuki's hair. The gesture made Yuki relax down until he was lethargically tired, held in the only place he wanted to be; Kyo's arms. The strength and the line of Kyo's arms and the intensity of the feeling of them around Yuki was devestatingly familiar and homely. It was a place that turned him on, a place that ultimately made him happy.

"Yeah, I thought that, too." Kyo said. Yuki sighed.

"Just want to have sex with you and get high and be happy and be loud and do whatever we want." Yuki mumbled, rubbing his head up into the crook of Kyo's neck and shoulder. Yuki rememebered then that his neck was still bleeding a little bit. 

Kyo stayed silent, but, Yuki felt him hold onto him that little bit tighter.


	15. Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyo goes ballistic when he's accused of cat-fishing by a girl he doesn't know and is terrified that this will destroy the new-found peace with Yuki. Tohrus head accidentally gets cracked open when she falls down the stairs due to seeing Shigure in a state of nature due to his girlfriend staying over. The situation then explodes as Shigures girlfriend finds out he's been cheating on her, and, as she throws crockery at his head, Yuki and Kyo organize poor Tohru

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Yes, indeed, quite a lot of stuff is happening in this chapter...and, yet again, I don't know what to say. Except that we genuinely do have some romance coming in the next chapter, actual romance, trust me :)

"...BUT THEN AGAIN - WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM A GERMAN CUNT?!" Kyo howled angrily in the sitting room of Shigure's house to Hatori while Hatsuharu was outside with Tohru in Yuki's garden and doing his best to keep her distracted from Kyo's fiery rage by telling her old Shinto stories about certain flowers. Yuki was in the kitchen pretending to wash the dishes - something Tohru had been interrupted doing - and Shigure was smoking in his study.

From what Yuki could understand, one of the expat girls about their age that went to the school five blocks away from their high-school had accused Kyo of cat-fishing her online.

Yuki knew for a solid fact that Kyo had never known this woman before in his life. And he knew that Kyo didn't bother with any of the online stuff, anyway.

Yuki had been in the sitting room talking with Hatori when Kyo had slammed open the door, already roaring his head off. Tohru had dropped a plate out of fright, and, Shigure had immediately vanished from the room like a twat, having been in with Yuki and Hatori. Hatsuharu came in a few minutes later to see Shigure about something, but, then, further made Kyo ballistic by remarking about "his german girlfriend".

Yuki wondered if that was why Kyo had more grief in him than a missile. Maybe he thinks I'm hurt by this, Yuki thought as he ran some ceramic bowls underneath hot water in the second sink, cleaning them of washing soap. And because he can't say, "Why would I be with a kraut when I've got Yuki?" in front of them, it means that he's damned if he does, damned if he doesn't...

Yuki nearly dropped a plate at the sound of Hatori laughing. Hatori never laughed. Hatori couldn't laugh.

Then came Shigure's voice.

"Well, that's what I said!" Kyo exclaimed. "I said to her, "You're a fucking maniac."."

Shigure lost all self control and nearly wet himself as even Yuki grinned broadly to himself. He couldn't help but be inexplicably proud of Kyo in that moment. That's my man, Yuki thought to himself.

Later that day, Kyo meekly came into Yuki's presence. Yuki smiled.

"Don't worry, I'm not biting you over that." Yuki assured him. 

Kyo got a good cuddle out of Yuki for a few moments.

When they got into bed that night, Kyo looked over at Yuki as he peeled his clothes off his thin body and then climbed into bed beside Kyo, shifting up close to him. Kyo automatically opened his arms for Yuki, now the most natural gesture in the world.

"Are we going to keep sleeping together naked?" Kyo asked, his mouth against Yuki's head.

"Yes, and we're going to our place behind the shinto temple tomorrow." Yuki looked upwardly at Kyo. "Don't you want me doing this?"

"Nah, I just got a bit cold the other night and I didn't want to wake you getting up by -" Kyo looked at Yuki as he smiled widely.

"Sorry, I didn't mean for it to get like that," Yuki said, surprisingly quietly. Suddenly, his expression fell. "I - I...I'm sorry."

Kyo wondered what was going through Yuki's mind. He asked.

"That because I'm subconciously obsessing over you I'm...doing too much..." Yuki's words fell away as he visibly shrunk down with anxiety.

Kyo held Yuki impossibly closer to him. "Imagine how jealous everyone would be if they knew that about you." One of Kyo's hands rubbed over Yuki's back. 

The two of them didn't fight or stutter or fall into something uncomfortable.

They just went to sleep.

The boys woke up to a woman shrieking the next morning and the sound of smashing crockery.

"YOU -" smash! - "-HORRIBLE -" smash! - "-BASTARD!" - smash!

Kyo rushed downstairs first and Yuki pulled on his trousers from yesterday and a shirt as quick as he had ever had done. While Kyo rushed downstairs, Yuki heard the sound of a second woman crying. He knocked gently on Tohru's bedroom door and found her curled up in her bed, looking terrifed.

There was blood on her pillow.

"Honda-san, what's happening..." Yuki trailed off, kneeling on the edge of Tohru's bed on one leg and leaning over her to see a sharp cut at the base of her skull. Yuki's stomach dropped.

It was nothing compared to the sight that Kyo saw.

A pretty, thin woman with short black hair cut like a pixie in a dark red silk petticoat still shrieked with a tear-stained face at Shigure who was trapped in a corner in the kitchen in his dressing gown, looking like a guilty animal. It took Kyo five seconds to work out that this woman had been someone Shigure had had a relationship with, and...he'd cheated on her.

"Well, wouldn't that be fucking right?!" Kyo snarled at Shigure.

In the next moment, Yuki rushed downstairs.

"Honda-san's head is bleeding." He said breathlessly. "Right here." He gestured to the back of his head.

The woman cried out. "Oh no!" Her hands flew to the mouth. "She ran up the stairs and she slipped and we heard her crash but she didn't scream or anything -"

"Call a fucking ambulance!" Kyo howled at Shigure before he rushed upstairs with Yuki, but, then, halfway up, came down again. "And that is definitely all your fault you cunt." He pointed savagely at Shigure. He then looked to the woman. "How desperate were you to end up with him, anyway?" He asked her genuinely.

"I'm - I'm his publisher!" The woman exclaimed.

Kyo's jaw dropped. "Oh, for fuck's sake!" He growled.

"SOHMA KYO, FUCKING HELP ME YOU CU -!" Yuki begun but was cut off by the sound of a draw shutting. "OH, NEVERMIND!"

Kyo rushed upstairs with the woman and Shigure. Yuki had jsut got Tohru's dressing gown from her wardrobe and had wrapped it around her before indicating to Kyo to lift her in his arms.

"Seeing as you can't be fucking trusted to do anything, just drive the car!" Yuki yelled to a stunned Shigure, who, somewhat mechanically, went downstairs with them and got the car-keys for his black Mercedes Benz. The woman in her petticoat grabbed Shigure's jacket from the rack in the hall and followed after them. The boys with the crying Tohru got into the back seat and the woman got into the front passenger seat. Shigure promptly put his foot to the floor.

Shigure partially made amends by sitting in with Tohru on her assessment at the hospital. She didn't need stitches but needed the inch-long cut to be glued back together. Tohru gritted her teeth together, more tears leaking out her eyes as she held onto Shigure's hand tightly as the warm glue stung her terribly as the middle-aged nurse fixing her head cooed comfortingly and did her best to make the process less painful for Tohru, but, even then, there was only so much all three of them could do. Kyo, Yuki and Shigure's girlfriend sat in triage, waiting.

"So how did Honda-san fall down the stairs?" Yuki asked her.

"I was in the kitchen in my underthings -" She gestured to the petticoat. "Having some tea while Shigure was still waking up. The poor girl saw me, got all embarrassed, and, I had Shigure's phone - I'm his PA, I do all his emails, right? Well, this text came through on a private number - nudes from another woman with these sordid text messages. I didn't do anything, but, the girl ran as fast as she could as Shigure came out without his robe done up -"

"Oh, for fuck's sake." Kyo scowled repulsively.

"He thought all you kids were still asleep." She sighed sadly. "She was so embarrassed that Tohru's slipped at the moment I went ballistic."

And, in that moment, that was all to be said.

Neither of them ended up going to school that day, and, later in the early evening, Saki and Arisa came around to see Tohru while Shigure hid shamefully in his study. While Tohru was under the impression Shigure was thinking how to fix things with the woman in the red petticoat, Kyo and Yuki knew cynically but correctly that Shigure was probably responding to the text messages of that other woman who had send him nude photographs.

Upstairs, Yuki and Kyo could hear the faintest sound of "Edge Of Seventeen" by Stevie Nicks playing on the 1960's audio gramophone that Shigure let Tohru use whenever she wanted to.

"That record would have to be Hanajima's, right?" Yuki chuckled softly, he and Kyo half curled up on the couch together, recipients of privacy which was quietly astounding.

"Shigure's really shot himself in the foot this time, hasn't he?" Yuki remarked of Shigure's publisher and girlfriend.

"What do you expect of a man who started off as a journalist?" Kyo shrugged.

Yuki laughed.

"I mean, I don't intend to judge, but..." Kyo grinned, not meaning those words at all. "That'll be the end of that, I suppose."

He and Yuki went into a comfortable silence, happily wrapped up in each other when a sound above them filled the air. It was a Shamanistic Uta, and, they could help but listen at the haunting, naturalistic melody made by a man, played on Shigure's gramophone by the girls upstairs:

"Oh, I can't seem to let myself leave you

But I can't breathe anymore

Oh, I can't seem to not need to need you

I can't breathe, anymore..."

Yuki's fingertips curled slightly tighter in the front of Kyo's shirt. There wasn't a person in the naturalistic world who couldn't be affected by a barddonaieth, a uta. Kyo's head rested on top of Yuki's.

"We didn't get to get out today, sorry." Kyo murmured, kissing the top of Yuki's head. Yuki's head angled up.

"It's ok." He smiled slightly. Kyo's mouth pressed over his. Absent-mindedly, Kyo's fingertips wandered down over Yuki's neck to the collar of his shirt and pressed down gently on the bite mark he had made of Yuki's skin, shielded from the other's by Yuki's clothes, from when they had been in the bathroom a few days before.

"Does it hurt?" Kyo pulled away slightly to ask, but, instead of answering, Yuki guided Kyo began down and kissed him again.

"Don't waste time with things like that." Yuki told him.

"Ok." Kyo murmured.

The two jumped apart, Kyo quickly rubbing his mouth over the back of his sleeve and making Yuki having to stifle a laugh, as the stairs creaked, Tohru coming downstairs. She smiled and waved at them silently before going down the hall to Shigure's study. The boys heard her knock on the door and asked him if he would like something to eat.

Kyo scooted across the couch and said to Yuki, "Did we really let her become the housemaid or was it something else?"

"In her nature, but Shigure exploits it sometimes which is why we come down on him like ten tons of bricks." Yuki answered. "Tohru's feels it as a obligation for being under our roof."

Kyo had just got back onto his side of the couch as Tohru came into the sitting room and sat down on the couch with them.

"How does your head feel?" Kyo asked.

Somewhat frighteningly, as Tohru went to answer, her eyes slid sideways, completely out of focus. Yuki's eyes widened, shifting slightly to get a better look at Tohru as Kyo's eyes boggled.

"I'm really tired." She admitted. "But I came down to check on your boys..." Her eyes slid nearly completely closed, utterly exhausted. Her short diagonal hair's tips swung by her chin. Kyo helped her up the stairs and didn't stop looking after her until she was safely in bed.

Yuki gazed at Kyo as he came back down.

"See?" Yuki murmured, pushing Kyo down gently on the couch and moving over the top of him. "You are a nice guy..."

Two days later at school, Yuki found a note in his locker:

Skip the stupid student council meetings and come out with me tonight

And, Yuki agreed.


	16. Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyo and Yukis sex life comes to a halt as Kyo and his Grandfather's Kami friend find that the attic is collapsing due to the century old structure falling into steady dilapidation since the 1980's. This leave Yuki wound up and depressed, and, rumors fly at school: No more is it, "Whose the cat-faced little bitch that got her claws into him?" it was now, "Fucking hell, let's spot the tart who dumped him! Who do you reckon it could be?"
> 
> As Tohru's hair grows inch by inch, she looks more and more the image of her mother Kyoko, and, this causes trauma for Kyo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is dark, no other way to say it. This chapter is the build up, essentially, an eruption from both Yuki and Kyo

Yuki snorted a laugh at the sight before him. Kyo's bottom half and the bottom half of a Shinto kami were sticking out of the second floor opening the old building they came too, and, one of the kami's slip-on wood shoes had come off, revealing a old foot that was very smooth despite the oldness of the man it carried.

All of the previous night while Yuki had slept curled up into Kyo, he hadn't been able to stop the memories and the dreams of what it felt like to have Kyo inside of him, pushing inside of him, moving inside of him, stretching him out an filling him. It had made Yuki ache, but, he hadn't woken up Kyo to help get him off, even though it was technically Kyo who had caused his after-midnight burn. The way Yuki had thought of it before hadn't been as...it hadn't been right. Getting so angry and loathesome of Kyo in those days aftetwards when they clashed, it had darkened the memory so Yuki couldn't see it clearly once more in his mind, let alone feel it in all of his body. Yuki knew Kyo would have died of self-cumbustion if he knew the way that Yuki bent himself over in the shower and fingered himself, as, underneath the hot water, the intensity of the feeling came back again, and, Yuki wanted to avoid a blast of bitterly cold water onto his abdomen and below.

At school, Yuki couldn't help but wonder if the entire world had started to notice the way he couldn't help but look at Kyo, and how he did look at Kyo, so very often. Yuki just couldn't control it as he thought he once could. When he needed Kyo, he needed him so bad. The reason why Yuki wondered if the rest of the world was picking up on the light in his life and his eyes was because the girls - and, even, to be honest, some of the boys - who usually made a great fuss over him had changed something in their air's and parlarvouring graces.

Yuki figured it out at lunchtime.

Jealousy. Suspicion. Disconcertness. Envy.

The thought of someone making Yuki happy and the fan-club not knowing who it was, only being able to plot and speculate within their limited powers.

But, another thought came to Kyo.

Please don't spread around that I'm with Honda-san, Yuki had prayed silently inside his mind to the whole school. Kyo would kill me

But, back in the early evening in the extensive back garden grounds of the inner-city Shinto temple by the river, all those thoughts left Yuki's mind.

I'm so giving it to you, he thought of Kyo, and, most importantly, Kyo with no clothes on.

However, up in the old buildings, the Shinto kami and Kyo did not notice Yuki for a drastic reason. 

"Fuck, I see what you mean." Kyo's blood ran cold at the sight of the floor of the attic starting to peel away from the ceiling, and, even worse, what had been a squeak in the floorboards came the terrifying screech of a un-flued timber board and then under-flooring on a truss beam. 

He and Yuki were going to have to find somewhere else to fuck, because, to put it frankly, depening how hard Yuki was up for riding him, they were going to crash with the floor of the attic eleven meters to the floor and be found in a disasterous state in the nude.

The sheer through terrified Kyo as he and his Grandfather's old friend half hung out of the attic to really see what was going on. 

The old man tutted as Kyo crawled back up into the attic and pulled the old man up to sit on the edge before, treading as delicately as he ever had in his life, more delicately so than around Yuki in the early days of their relationship, Kyo fetched the extension ladder that they had brought up with them, positioned it, and, watched as the old Kami got down and was on his feet.

However, Kyo didn't see or know about Yuki's presence, Yuki having gone and hidden himself away around the other side of the building simply for the purpose of something that Kyo had once said to him. He had told the old Kami that he needed the space for his partner, for his friend.

And, despite old Shinto texts, Shintoism didn't exactly spruce ancient happiness over same-sex relationships. And, another matter of which, the old Kami was from the days where you'd get drunk at the pub, beat up a gay person, grope a woman, throw up in a hedge, then get chicken rice as a takeaway at four in the morning.

Yuki waited until the old Kami was gone, then, walked out to find a tense looking Kyo.

"Oh, shit, you've come all this way for nothing." Kyo said as Yuki stood before him, expecting a kiss but not getting one. Kyo quickly explained what was going on.

Yuki paled incredibly white.

Unbeknowest to Kyo, inside of Yuki's head screamed a voice with flashing red lights, "CONGRATULATIONS! THIS IS THE END OF YOUR SEX LIFE FOR YEARS TO COME!", and, it terrified Yuki.

However, Kyo didn't see it that way. He took it on as a task.

As he and Yuki walked home, well and truly un-sexed, Kyo didn't really see Yuki's disappointment as he talked logically.

"It was a delapiated old building," He said of their former place. "Around a hundred years old now, made of timber, not cared for properly since the mid-eighties, early-nineties, of course it'd get fucked." Kyo looked up the darkening lavender night sky and sighed, the stars beginning to come out. His hand wrapped through Yuki's elbow, and, he pointed up to the sky, both of their chins tipping upward at the same time. 

"Pretty." Kyo said of the sky. Simultaneously again, the two of them connected on a deeper level that could only be described as visceral, they came to look at each other's eyes. "Like you." Kyo told Yuki. 

Kyo gave Yuki a quick kiss, but, he could feel the pain radiate off Yuki as he had to move away. There couldn't be two boys having a snog on a inner-city Tokyo street without getting beaten. Yuki's fingertips knotted themselves in the front of Kyo's shirt, and, he didn't let go, his head ducked down slightly, not quite seeing anything at all for some time.

"Yuke," Kyo whispered, a hand touching Yuki's hair. "Let's get home, love."

Later that night, Yuki still couldn't shift the intense feeling of sadness in him. Always. He and Kyo had something so good for a long time...and, then, always, as matters for the two of them, it went wrong. It just simply buggered up. And, for the first time in their lives, Akito had nothing to do with it. Nor their families or anyone else.

An old bloody building...

"I was so excited for tonight." Yuki whispered, he and Kyo laying side by side in his bed, Yuki curled up a little bit on his side and Kyo lying on his back, both hand on his stomach.

"I know." Kyo turned over and his arms slipped around Yuki's body and held him tightly, closely to him.

For the next two weeks, time seemed to fly by like never before as Kyo tried to figure out another place where he and Yuki could have some time to themselves. But, for Yuki, time dragged by horribly slow, and, it made him snarky, bad-tempered, ill-mannered, and, most of all, just wound-up and supremely unhappy.

"I'd say he's been dumped." Was the decisive opinion of the rest of the school, even more gossip swelling than it had been for the last few weeks. No more was it, "Whose the cat-faced little bitch that got her claws into him?" it was now, "Fucking hell, let's spot the tart who dumped him! Who do you reckon it could be?"

Again, Yuki was praying that no one took a bite at Tohru.

"You look like your Mum!" Arisa enthused to Tohru that morning in their language class. Tohru's hair - having just grown that inch - really did change her face, and, even the teacher's who had known Tohru's Mother, at least by sight, were shocked to to see a sixteen year old version of Kyoko Honda in the classrooms and the atrium hall. Unbeknownst to Yuki, this caused Kyo a particular amount of grief.

As a result, Yuki, for the first time in a long time, didn't see much of Kyo that day. Unbeknowest to Yuki, Kyo was trying not to lose control of himself, living the raw, agonizing, horrific memory in his head of the death of Kyoko Honda caused by a car crash. And, yet again, in a circle as always as it seemed for Kyo, he was still using the same man person he used in the first place to get rid of everything.

Yuki.

But, then, he scarcely was using Yuki as...he needed him.

Why?

I think you're scared, a voice in the back of Kyo's head murmured. But, even then, you're too scared to admit that you're scared. 


	17. Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuki and Kyo fight terribly, and only stop when Shigure threatens to tell everyone about their relationship, the secret now effectively being out, but, unbeknownst to Yuki and Kyo, it's Shigure's actual belief that they are fighting over a woman. Kyo is the first to make healing steps and tells Yuki about his relationship with a woman he knew as a little boy who died recently, but, with the grief explained, Yuki forgives Kyo though Kyo hurt him badly. No one knows that the woman Kyo speaks of is Kyoko Honda, and, the reason why Kyo believes she died is because he failed to save her by reaching out to catch her for fear he would change into the cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you read this chapter...I suppose it is a peculiar sort of shock, but, I think it matches the evolving intensity of the ending of the previous chapter which takes what I think is a first look at Kyo's internal self, most of which prevalent is fear. (And, yes, this is the first time I've think I've made a proper note because I've written this while I've still been planning and writing this chapter and not when I'm publishing it!) And, fear makes us do both terrible and life-changing and great things, matters that can be all three, the death of all three, or, the empowerment of all three. Or simply just the one. And which is worse? It changes with every individual human being on the planet. In this chapter I sort of want to show how Yuki and Kyo fight; it's Kyo who makes the roar, the big sound, and, ultimately, in all, it's Yuki who listens, and, eventually, even when they clash, will be the one to control the end and the outcome of the conflict.

The fight that the boys ended up in was caused mainly by Kyo; Yuki's kindness and touch did nothing for him in his bad-tempered state, and, all of a sudden to Kyo, Yuki's love felt like it was smothering him, and, as a result, Kyo was letting himsel be used by the man under the curse of the rat.

Kyo and Yuki both excused themselves early that night. Yuki went straight into his room, and, half an hour later, Kyo got in with him, skin and hair still damp from the shower. Even thought the shower must have been hot from the slight pink tone to the skin of Kyo's shoulders and back, there was something cold about him. He slept on the side of his body that didn't face Yuki, and, it bothered Yuki.

"Kyo?" He aksed, reaching out and touching Kyo's shoulder, his hand curving over the hard shape.

Unbeknowest to the two boys, Shigure, downstairs, could feel a twisting ache in his body, a feeling of something bad to come, but, it wasn't with Yuki and Kyo he asscioated the feeling.

Something's happened with Akito, was the thought in Shigure's mind as he looked up from his tax accounts which he was sorting through in the sitting room occasionally to see Tohru ironing.

Shigure had once seen a picture of Tohru's Mother, Kyoko, and, he was as subdued as everyone else who had also known Kyoko's face, to see this beautiful young girl who was so much like her. Like taking a piece of time, Shigure softly thought was the best way to describe it.

Back upstairs, Kyo didn't respond to Yuki's touch.

"Kyo, what's the matter?" Yuki asked. "Is it something I've done?"

"Not everything's about you." Kyo bluntly, coldly answered.

"You don't have to talk to me like that." Yuki wasn't fazed by Kyo's response. "Hey." Yuki kissed Kyo's head gently. "Talk to me."

Kyo didn't answer. Kyo himself just couldn't stop this volcanic anger erupting inside of him; it spread through the insides of his bones and beneath his skin like a poison, taking hold on all of him. It hurt him so badly that it felt appalling to have Yuki touching him like this, trying to look after him, but, simultaneously, Yuki's touch made Kyo hate him, made Kyo's skin burn up irritably. Kyo sat up in bed, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, with his feet, flat on the ground, ran one of his hands through his hair, just wishing that Yuki would go. Yuki shifted around behind him, a hand coming to touch Kyo's back.

"Why don't you just -?" Yuki was cut off by Kyo shoving roughly at his chest, nearly pushing him down to the ground.

"I'm not here to be your whore or your fucking ride!" Kyo snarled.

From there, the match was ignited, the sulphar of the red-tip catching the flame and holding it like nothing else on the earth. As the two of them fought very badly, there wasn't a time limit or a thought of end for the terror, but, all the while, tohru and shigure were downstairs on the floor below, and, it occured something else. As the flame burned down the match-stick, Yuki's hands wrapping around Kyo's throat and strangling him and Kyo's hands ripping out Yuki's hair and clawing his face and his arms until it looked like Yuki had harmed himself, neither Shigure or Tohru to get into the locked room, and, Tohru was absolutely terrified while Shigure, internally, was panicking, but, for several different reasons.

"Stop it, stop it, stop it!" Tohru screamed, as, behind the bedroom door, Kyo shoved Yuki off of him and stamped on his ribs, blood on the both of them, as the woman of the house kept on slamming her hands repeatedly on the door. 

Incredibly, it was Shigure who took controll of the situation and nipped it in the bud.

"I WILL TELL EVERYONE IN THE LIVING FUCKING UNIVERSE!" Shigure roared in a way that seemed to shake the ground beneath their feet, and, subdued Tohru's terrified reactions to the whole scene. Shigure held out an arm for Tohru and tucked her slightly into his side as silence filled the room behind the bedroom. 

Tohru stayed behind and tried to coax the boys to come out of Yuki's bedroom, but, Shigure let it be and, eventually, Shigure drew Tohru away from her efforts.

"It's alright." He assured her, taking her to her room and helping her pack a suitcase. Shigure bobbed down a couple of times to pick up garments of Tohru's clothing as her shaking hands dropped them, and, Shigure collected up all her homework as well. He took her downstairs, and, Tohru wearing jeans, boots, and a jacket over her nightie, Shigure called Hatori, apologised for it being nearly eleven, and told him that the spare room at his house needed to be Tohru's again for a few days.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Kyo sat hunch-shouldered against Yuki's bedroom door, and, Yuki lay curled up in his bed, cold and tearless, falling into a deep sleep a few seconds after the first hit of tiredness washed over him. Kyo had blood on his scalp, nail wounds and bruising on his throat, but, ultimately, Yuki was the worst off. His face, neck, chest, hands, wrists, and arms were covered in claw cuts that bled everywhere all over the floor and the bed linen, and, in his grief and air-space, Yuki couldn't really feel the pain of where Kyo had stomped on his ribs, mutilating him.

For Tohru, the late-evening ride in Shigure's black vintage Mercedez was something that swept over her mind in the same manner that waves of the ocean swept over one another, becoming one another, before making a new creation in it's exact image.

A song played on Shigure's radio, and, it captured Tohru's already faded, exhausted attention in a soft-focus manner. It was a song of a genre she couldn't describe it, but, it made her mind whirl, reminding her of Hatsuharu and Saki when they smiled, when they had this glow to them, something that was so secret, something that...it just filled up Tohru so inexplicably, this feeling of Hatsuharu and Saki.

"I've not learned how to draw..."

Shigure slammed on the horn of the Mercedez and gave the v's quite violently to someone in a Hyundai out of the driver's side window as they cut him off as an intersection. Tohru couldn't help laughing. Shigure smiled and turned up the sound of the radio.

The next day at school, Kyo didn't turn up until lunch-time, but, Yuki and Tohru were there from ages before it started. As a result, Yuki saw from the window of the school library Tohru swinging her legs idedly back and forth on a park bench, obviously just been by herself. Yuki sub-conciously pressed his fingertips to his face which was cut and bruised. He was in the library privately wondering how he was going to cope with the rest of the day where people could see his face. Shigure had rang the school principle earlier that morning and told him that Yuki had been the victim of a mugging, and, got "a bit scruffed up". The Principle hadn't seen just how "scruffed up" Yuki was, but, the Principle had promised Shigure to make a remark at assembly about people "minding their own business". 

Yuki couldn't help thinking about last night.

Kyo hadn't left him. The locked door hadn't been locked. Hours later, Kyo had crawled into Yuki's bed beside Yuki and had held Yuki close to him, Yuki's back against his chest. Kyo had nuzzled his face into the curve of Yuki's neck and shoulder, breathing in the scent of him and relishing at being able to be close to his skin as hot, angry tears slipped out of Kyo's eyes and he just wanted to hold onto Yuki forever. When Yuki had woken the next morning at six 'o' clock as always, he hadn't fought Kyo. Kyo had nearly told Yuki his darkest secret. Nearly. He told Yuki how he knew Kyoko, and, how he had once known Tohru as a very little girl, and, that hat of his she had in her bedroom and sometimes talked about. 

How it was Yuki who brought Tohru home.

How it was Yuki that made Kyo lose a part of himself, but, Kyoko never let him out of her life.

How Kyo was with Kyoko at the pedestrian crossing where she died.

But Kyo didn't tell Yuki how he didn't grab her, afraid that he would turn into a cat, and she would see that he wasn't human.

"I loved her." Kyo told Yuki softly, his lips brushing up against the back of her Yuki's neck. "I think I really loved her..."

Unseen to Kyo's eyes, tears had rolled down Yuki's face from wide open eyes, looking at the thin, pale lavender-blue panel of light of the dawn coming in through the edge of his bedroom curtains. 

Yuki had to stop the same tears again as he thought. In doing so, it compelled him to go outside to see Tohru. 

Yuki didn't realize that Tohru seeing him would make her cry. Yuki sat numbly and hunch-shouldered beside Tohru as she held her face in her hands and cried. A groundskeeper wandered quite a distance away, and glanced over once, probably thinking it was yet another highschool sweethearts break-up.

But, it wasn't without benefit from Yuki, who, found from Tohru, that Shigure thought not what he and Kyo thought he thought of their relationship. 

"He-he thinks the two of you are in some trouble over a girl..." Tohru hiccuped. "Or something like that. You know how Kyo-kun was complaining about that German girl accusing him of cat-fishing her? Shigure-san thinks that that is something not said quite as it is, and, it's involved like that." Her wide, teary eyes looked at him. Yuki held her hand. Tohru just to sniffle down another sob, but, instead, it made her mouth tip downsidely and it made Yuki's heart hurt.

Yuki sort of told her. "When Kyo was a little boy," Yuki explained softly-toned. "He met a woman older than him who was like an older-sister-cum-mother to him. She was so good to him, and, he cared about her. But, one day, a bit of an accident happened involving Kyo and the woman...and me. No one was hurt or anything like that - it didn't happen like that. But, what it meant was that Kyo, who was only tiny at the time, younger than Hiro or Kisa, thought he fell out of favour with this woman and thought that there was no going back for it all. One day quite a time later - a little while ago now - he saw her, but, she didn't really see him." Yuki took in a deep breath as Tohru gazed at him intently. "She's died, you see, Honda-san."

More tears flooded down Tohru's cheeks silently.\par  
"So, you see, there is a woman," Yuki told her. "But, it's not like that." He glanced up to the sky briefly, opaline and luminescent and cloudy. "And now I'm going to have to tell Shigure-san all of this."

"But why did he...?" Tohru asked after a little while, sniffling again, but, letting go of Yuki's hand to fetch a tissue from her school-bag.

"I could tell something was wrong, and, I do detest him, but...he's in pain. And no one knew why." Yuki softly said. "I touched his shoulder, tried to get him to talk to me, persisted, said who could understand better than me?" He ran a hand through his hair. "I know you and Shigure won't understand this, it's insane, truly, but...Kyo needed to get it out of his system. And...and I'll be alright." Yuki gestured to his face, smiling. "I'll be alright. Of course I will."

He held his arms out for Tohru Honda, and, on the park bench in the school yard, the young woman whom he lived with and came to know moved gently into his arms, as though her weight pressing on him would hurt him. As Yuki hugged her, he reflected that this was the first time he had really hugged a woman, someone who wasn't a Mother, an Aunt, or some other figure of that sort.

Yuki reflected at how nice it was.

That day at lunch, Yuki specifically stayed with Tohru, and, Tohru specifically stayed with him. After the assembly where it was noted by all about Yuki's "mugging", Saki and Arisa didn't ask questions about Tohru spending time with Yuki, and, though Yuki's fan-club tried to interfere, the Principle had put them on the spot with a barely concealed barb about not a single one of them is to harrass "the affected person" with the addition of "or else". 

"I think both the trouble with you and Kyo-kun," Tohru said soothingly, quietly, hoping that she didn't flare up something in Yuki that made him sad. As she talked, from where Yuki and herself sat at the back of the school, hidden, shielded, Kyo approached around the side, but, stopped as he heard her voice evidently talking to Yuki. "Is that the two of you are very, very lonely."

Even though Tohru didn't intend it in that manner, Yuki's heart broke, and, so did Kyo's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song mentioned on Shigures radio is HOW TO DRAW/PETRICHOR by THE 1975 from their 2018 album, A BRIEF INQUIRY INTO ONLINE RELATIONSHIPS. I did get a bit teary at writing this chapter, I do admit. Even though it's based on fruits basket, it is my own book, my own work, after all.


	18. Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tohru comes back to Shigure's with yet again, new hair. This causes a fit of hilarity among the boys. By accident, Yuki introduces Tohru to Hawthorn leaves after she asked about the tree in the back garden with the link and white blossom, and, as a result, along with the rain, floods Tohru's veins with the heart-raising and warming aphrodisiac properties of the ancient tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the darkness and the emotional intensity of the last chapter, I thought to create something sweet, light, so, here we are :) We all need something after the last chapter 
> 
> (I needed green tea and caramel slice, and, yes, if you are on a diet you can sod off, I'm not apologizing for making you remember that you're trying to get a itty-bitty waist)

A day later, Tohru came home from Hatori's...with dark auburn highlights in her hair.

"What do you think?" She smiled, patting it down absent-mindedly as Shigure, Yuki and Kyo stared. "Momiji did it for me!"

"The man's a fashion guru!" Kyo said in a tone and manner of voice that indicated a clucky middle-aged Stepford housewife. Yuki snorted a laugh, bending over slightly and covering his mouth with his hand, but, Shigure got a case of the giggles before promptly losing the plot. 

Control yourself, Shigure mouthed at Kyo before he complimented a smiling Tohru on how lovely, indeed, her hair did look before helping her to take her things upstairs.

"Since when was the dick a fucking hairdresser?" Kyo said suddenly of Momiji as soon as Shigure and Tohru were gone.

"Oh, shh, come on." Yuki wrapped an arm around Kyo's waist, leading him to the sitting room.

Yuki's face was healing up, but, Kyo couldn't look at him without wincing internally, his heart beating dully in his chest. As a result, whenever able, Yuki was comfortably getting tucked up in Kyo's arms, and, even though Yuki could still feel the grief radiating off Kyo as Kyo's nose nudged against his temple, Yuki didn't want to be anywhere else but with Kyo. Yuki nuzzled his face into the crook of Kyo's neck, the scent of Kyo's skin and the warmth of his body filling up Yuki, making his stomach twist happily. 

"You're holding me really tightly." Kyo murmured into Yuki's hair. 

"I know." Yuki answered. 

They seperated at Tohru's feet sounded on the stairs. Kyo kept gazing back over to Yuki as Yuki talked to Tohru, and, the two of them went outside, as the sun was out and Yuki's garden was coming to life.

Slowly, and idea filled up Kyo's mind.

Garden.

Yes, why didn't he think of it before?

Bloody gardens.

Of course.

Tohru made mugs of tea for herself and Yuki, and, she took them out into the garden for the two of them. As Yuki pulled weeds out of the garden beds around his peas, Tohru sat down on the edge of the verandah and sipped her tea. 

"What are they?" Tohru pointed to a small tree-like plant at the back of the garden that had had pink and white blossom on it earlier that year.

"It's a Welsh hawthorn tree." Yuki told her. He got up from where he had been crouching on the ground, not changed into the old slacks and shirt he usually wore whilst garden as he usually got dirty for he was just pulling weeds, and, he walked down to the back of the garden, reflecting that he needed to mow the lawn. Apart from the matter that the garden was largely Yuki's domain, Shigure was absolutely rubbish-skilled at anything remotely mechanic. The one time he had tried to mow the lawn he had ripped the starting cord, and, they had had a fuel leak which resulted in a patch of lawn about two feet round taking three years to recover. Yuki plucked some acorn-like leaves from the Hawthorn tree, five in one hand for himself, and five in one hand for Tohru, and he took them back to the verandah.

"The Welsh use Hawthorn leaves as blood pressure medication and as a aprhodisiac." Yuki explained, putting them into her lap. "You need to eat a bowlful of the leaves to get any of the latter effect, or taste the sap of the tree in hot water, but, if you eat some of the leaves, it's like a lolly, I suppose is how you'd put it. Hawthorn leaves, sap and bloom bulbs have something in them which warms up your heart by raising your blood pressure slightly and putting something else into your immune system to boost red blood cell production and a high level of oxygen in the blood."

"Which sends it to other places." Tohru commented.

The two of them laughed, simultaneously a bit embarrassed, but, Yuki knew that if he hadn't said about the Hawthorn she would find out from someone else, or, Tohru would take to the taste, go back down to get some more, and, have a hell of a night due to having no idea how to fix it. Yuki's stomach dropped at the possibility, and, slowly his regret about telling her faded. Christ, he or Kyo would have had to pratically hold her under in a cold bath for hours, and, there was no way they could manage that without causing a massive level of distress to Tohru, or, getting by it without Shigure finding out.

Tohru tasted one of the Hawthorn leaves. She blinked. "Tastes like a leaf." She said. Yuki chuckled softly. 

"Give it a minute." He told her. Tohru's mouth turned upwards on the corners.

"Is it a magic tree?" She smiled more widely.

"Back where it come from it is." Yuki's eyes slid from the Hawthorn tree back to Tohru as she became silent. She blinked slowly, and, Yuki knew she had just got a dizzy feeling in her head.

"It's not like marijuana." He said. "It doesn't harm your brain or your body unless you've got a pre-existing lung, kidney, liver or heart condition. Trust me." He gazed at her as one of her hands touched over her lower stomach. Yuki was amazed that one leaf already had the warm feeling seeping into her core, as though she had just drunk whisky.

"Are you sure it won't make me ill?" Tohru's wide eyes looked at him.

Yuki nodded. "I'm sure, Honda-san."

A wide smile came onto her face. "What happens if I eat another one?" She asked.

"You get happier?" Yuki raised an eyebrow slightly, trying not to laugh and possibly upset her, but, it seemed that nothing could upset Tohru. She giggled and ate two more leaves. 

"It's weird." She said. "They've got this taste but it's not like...it's funny." Tohru giggled more.

"Hawthorn taste." Yuki summarised for her. Tohru ate the rest of them, and, when she next looked at Yuki, her eyes mellowed softly like honey. Yuki couldn't help but feel concious of his face; was that what Tohru was seeing before her, or, was the Hawthorn making the love within her grow, so, she could see past that? Something inside Yuki twisted, almost a feeling of the heart, both growing and breaking and mending.

Oh, Christ, what have you done? A voice in the back of Yuki's mind echoed. "Honda-san, you should have some more of that." He gave Tohru her mug of tea, but, she put it down again. 

"No, I'm fine." She laid down on the verandah, smiling happily, dreamily.

Inside, both Kyo and Shigure had no idea what was going on, and, Yuki reflected that he now and there didn't understand just how much trouble he had accidentally made.

"No, Honda-san, trust me, drink some." He put the mug beside her, and, this time, Tohru did drink some of it. She gazed at him intently, and, there was something in her gaze that Yuki couldn't pull away from. It reminded him of Kyo, something so deep in there. It nearly made Yuki shiver. You're such an idiot, a voice crooned in the back of his head. Yuki grinned down at her.

"Maybe it is a magic tree." He told her. He laid down on the verandah beside Tohru, and, none to shortly after, it began to rain. Simultaneously, both Yuki and Tohru pulled their feet in so they didn't get wet. They both went to sleep out on the verandah, lulled to sleep by the sound of the rain on the shalot roof of the verandah, and, when Yuki woke up hours later, not having noticed that both Shigure and Kyo had had a decent look at both he and Tohru with their jaws dropped, both jealousy and curiosity burning inside of them as individuals, Tohru was cuddled into his front, head tucked up his chin.

Her body felt so tender and soft and warm, that, even after he had woken up, Yuki couldn't help but hold the sense of Tohru's body against him, and how different she felt compared to Kyo. 

Yuki watched raindrops drip from the roof-edge of the curved ceiling verandah as, inside, Kyo tried not to think how blissful and happy and loved both Yuki and Tohru looked, curled into one another.


	19. Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So deep in longing for Kyo, Yuki zones out in mathematics class and disconcerts everyone. He talks his way out of fussing, and, Kyo reinstated to him how he'll catch him everytime he falls, but only after the slowly obsessing Yuki spikes his tea with sap from the Hawthorn tree in the back garden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry! It's been bloody ages since I wrote anything! I've had periods of euphoria and then heartache - joys of girlfriends - and, either way, it's not a blissful setting into writing this work, so, honestly, I write for this work on the days she doesn't have anything for me on the pretext we only talk every few days so we don't say shit that kills us inside. Sounds bloody unnatural, but, it's all I can do

A few days later, both Shigure and the weather started it.

"It'll be Yuletide soon." Shigure remarked over breakfast with a newspaper as it snowed heavily outside. Tohru's eyes lit up, and, Kyo and Yuki looked at one another.

"I'm not walking to school outside in that." Kyo pointed outside to the snow, protesting darkly to Shigure who didn't seem very bothered, having his coffee and reading his newspaper.

"Tohru's not walking to school outside in that." Yuki amended, appealing to Shigure's sympathetic nature more knowingly.

Yuki, Kyo and Tohru got the bus that day, and, Yuki wished they hadn't. People looked at them as though they were strange, and, Yuki could conciously feel Kyo doing his best to barely perceptibly for anyone else shield himself and Tohru who appeared to feel the attention as well, without a single air of kindness. Yuki put in his ear-buds and listened to a song on the ipod he had bought last year, absolving everything by looking at one of Kyo's feet that, in converse sneakers, on the toe had a tiny black sketch, now faded. For a laugh, someone had once put a cock-and-balls illustration on Kyo's shoe.

"I never wanted to be your weekend lover..." Alyona Yarushina sung into his ears. "I only wanted to be some kind of friend. Baby, I could never steal you from another. It's such a shame my firned she had to wait. purple rain, purple rain. purple rain, purple rain. purple rain, purple rain..."

Yuki never thought it would be him out of Kyo having a great sex drive, and, with it, a desperate need for sex. Yuki was finding it absolutely impossible to remotely near Kyo. It was just killing him inside, and, Yuki didn't understand it. As a result, it was making him feel weak, dreadful, and, all consumed. Yuki felt it the most in the mathematics class, something he never liked giving an ounce of his energy to anyway, and, even though he always completed the work, his mind couldn't help wandering. And, that day, it especially wandered. Yuki knew that the teacher would not check on him because he never needed checking on, but, Yuki couldn't rule it out if he kept glancing across the room to Kyo. It was this unbearable itch inside of Yuki, and, the intensity of the longing took up all of his mind. It was inescapable, all powerful. 

Yuki zoned out, and, was in the semi-concious state for a good twenty minutes. When he did come around, the rest of the class was going about their next task, but, they looked nervous, disconcerted, wary, as though a sudden break would shock the ground beneath their feet and make them fall. Yuki blinked, having no understanding or concious memory of what was happening. The principle sat on the edge of the teacher's desk, a phone in his hand, mumbling to the teacher softly, but, when people shouted as Yuki looked up, the older man looked increidbly relieved. He came over to Yuki and spoke to him as though Yuki was his son, and, considering the principle was usually a very stressed and sleepless man with a balding hat, a growing paunch, and high blood-pressure, perhaps unkind to say, but it was as human as they had ever seen the head of their school. The principle acompanied Yuki to his private office instead of the sick-bay, and, he talked to Yuki for a few moments about his health.

"Do you feel this could be about the mugging?" The man asked.

It took Yuki a few moments to understand, remembering that's what Shigure had told the Principle after he and Kyo had fought, and, Yuki looked shocking. "I'm not sure, sir." He answered.

The principle gazed at him softly. "Do you really know what happened?" He attempted.

Yuki shook his head. "I'm sorry, I don't know. I think I don't remember seeing anything for a time, and, then, I was still looking down at the papers but there was silence. I looked up and..." Yuki shrugged, feeling anxious, exposed, and, nervous of what the principle would say next. But, the man didn't say anything, and, upon Yuki's request, did not ring Shigure but did ask Yuki for the benefit of his health just to get some more sleep. Every school principle was hated to some degree for some reason, but, Yuki felt this principle was set apart from the others, if only for half an hour. Yuki smiled as he left the principle's office. 

But, there was something else on his mind.

Kyo.

But, not Kyo as he thought of Kyo as before. 

Kyo's going to worry, and, when he's worried, he becomes stressed, and, when he's stressed, all hell breaks loose, played through Yuki's mind. 

The school day ended cheerfully.

Hatsuharu had got himself a new second-hand motorcycle, working part-time at a mechanics in the inner city, and, as a result, he gave Tohru a ride on it around the block. People filmed on their phones, whooped, cheered, laughed, and, Yuki smiled. Tohru held onto Hatsuharu tightly, and, as a result, her loose pleated school-uniform circle skirt flapped up a little bit, showing the bottom curve of her backside as it became her thigh. The sharp outer corners of her hair flapped beneath the passenger helmet, one that came off a Italian Vespa, not a 1999 KTM, black edition, and, she had a wide smile on her face. This is what growing up should be, Yuki thought of Tohru, for Tohru. Happiness. Fun. What good is it for a young woman if she grows without happiness and fun? 

But, then, he thought of himself and Kyo.

What good are our lives without happiness and fun?

Yuki went to find Kyo in the crowd, but, got stopped by five different people asking about him. Yet, in the distance, Kyo could see Yuki trying to find him, and, even though they didn't get to one another, the knowledge did Kyo a world of good. 

Love makes people do exceptional things, absurd things, crazy things, undying things. Yuki Sohma was not un-touched by this hand, both born of fate, and, what can be described as one's own internal enemy.

Oneself. Thyself.

The world of them, and around them.

Yuki knew he couldn't leave Kyo alone, but, everytime Yuki looked at Kyo, despite the two of them being with one another once again, Yuki could hear Kyo's former words echo heavily in his mind:

"I'm not your fucking whore." 

So, Yuki's exceptionality, absurdity, craziness, and, undying longing and gratiditue over Kyo and his commitment to him drove further over Yuki's being, and, he could scarcely belief that it had only been days, a week. It had felt like fifty years, a hundred years. 

Yuki hesitated before he did it. There was no going back once he did it. Yuki's hand shook, holding the little bottle of sap he had collected earlier from the Hawthorn tree that night, knowing that Kyo wasn't stupid, and, he wasn't ignorant. Perhaps, the first time, he could get away with it, but, it would always be on his mind, the time he gave Kyo something to make him grow internally, make his heart race and his blood grow hot. Yuki knew that it would always play on his mind how he'd make himself the centre of Kyo's attention as he should be, so, Kyo could see no other option that Yuki to fix what was putting his nerves through the roof and projecting them to sun, needing the moon to come down, needing the albinism tainted boy who called him his. 

Yuki's hand began to tip the sap into Kyo's tea, not one Kyo had wanted but one that Yuki was taking up to him anyway, disguised along with a mug of plain tea, un-spiked tea, one for he and he alone. It run like alarm bells in the back of Yuki's head that he was been so stupid - they still had no where to do it in the house without Tohru or Shigure picking up on it - but, Yuki couldn't stop. 

Yuki went up to Kyo's room unseen by anyone else, and, found the man half-laying against the pillows on his bed, scowling slightly down at a set of homework they were given. There was no light in the room except the smouldering glow of a lamp on Kyo's bedside table, and, Yuki was glad he didn't have to deal with the mundane task of turning off the big light. "Can't get it?" Yuki remarked softly, so no one outside could hear, and, he sat down on the edge of Kyo's bed by his knees. He put Kyo's spiked cup of tea on his bedside table, and, held his tea in his hands, sipping it once gently, but, that was all. Kyo stared down at the papers silent for a few more moments before promptly picking up his tea and swallowing it in four decent gulps. Yuki's eyes widened. His lungs must be asbestos lungs, Yuki thought, wondering how it was that Kyo wasn't coughing and spluttering, wheezing that it was too hot. Just like his hands are asbestos hands, Yuki thought about how over the years Kyo seemed to not get burnt by anything, even if he went for you. All the heart they reject they just put into me, instead, he smiled softly, his mouth curving up on one side.

"How about we leave it for now?" Yuki suggested gently, taking the papers from Kyo's hands, putting them on the bed-side table. Kyo hummed softly, running a hand through his hair. He looked up to Yuki through his lashes, and, for some reason, Yuki seemed even more beautiful than he already was. 

"You weren't right, earlier." Kyo stated.

"About what?" Yuki's brows furrowed.

"No, love." Kyo gazed at him. "You sort of zoned out, right?"

Yuki's head hung down. 

Kyo's fingertips brushed over the outer edge of Yuki's thigh from where Yuki sat. "What do you want me to do?" He asked.

"Whatever you want to do." Yuki told him. Kyo let go a soft, silent breath before holding out his arms for Yuki, gathering Yuki up to be between his legs as he tucked Yuki's head up beneath his chin.

Yuki's ear rested just by Kyo's descending pulse-point by his collarbone, and, as well as Kyo's body getting warmer, Yuki could sense a skipping thrum in Kyo's bloodstream every thirty seconds, then, less.

"Sorry, Yuke, I'm getting too hot, sorry, you're making me heat up." Kyo chuckled softly, shifting Yuki out of his arms.

"Can I help?" Yuki's fingertips brushed in a lingering touch over Kyo's chest. Kyo smiled a bit.

"Nah, think it's just in my system." He chuckled softly again, before, with a groan, leaning back properly on his bed so that he lay down, his elbows sticking up in the air as he pressed his hands over his eyes.

Yuki shifted into Kyo's side, and, getting the hem of Kyo's shirt in the fingertips on one hand, he brought it up slightly to reveal a few inches of Kyo's lower, lean-muscled stomach. Yuki pressed his fingertips down, rubbing slow circles, one after the other, one on side of the muscle ridge of Kyo's lower stomach. Kyo let go a long, soft breath, like a smoker exhaling cigarette smoke. "Yuki..." Kyo mumbled, but, Yuki didn't stop. Come one, Yuki willed internally. Work for me, please

Kyo's head tipped to the side, his mouth brushing up against Yuki's white hair. Yuki's fingertips slipped below the band of Kyo's jeans, just by a centimeter, and, automatically, the skin there was softer and hotter, more delicate. Yuki loved it.

"Hey." Yuki said as Kyo's arms adjusted, one slipping beneath his head and the other of Kyo's arms settling on his side. "Let me touch you..."

Kyo shivered, unable to help himself. His body was just on fire. There was a sensation filling him, both damp and hot simultaneously, hands curving their way up his spine and to the back of his brain, second hands taking hold of his hipbones and moving them apart, making his stomach twist and his chest tighten.

"Yes, yes, please, baby..." Kyo couldn't believe how forward Yuki was, how Yuki was coming onto him. Suddenly, he needed this so much, and, through all of it, he could barely think, especially when Yuki's fingertips slid out from grazing the edge dip of his abdomen.

Yuki moved down to the floor by the end of Kyo's bed, and, Kyo's eyes followed him as he undressed. Something electrified Kyo. Seeing Yuki strip down, taking of his clothes, his skin steadily revealed, it never got old, it never felt lesser. Yuki sat there on the floor for a moment, both of them in heady semi-darkness, the lamplight igniting Kyo's already fiery hair and the sheer light touching Yuki in it's crowned edge in a way that made Kyo float up into the sky, the two of them consumed in absolute silence. So far, their whole affair of that night had been in utter silence. No one in the world except them knew what was going on. 

"Get me the lube." Yuki whispered, so softly that even Kyo in the silent room barely heard him.

"It's in the shelf, inside the black box." Kyo answered.

Yuki blinked. "You keep our sex lube in the same box as your mother's wedding rings?" He said to Kyo incredulously.

"No, in the black box beneath the jewlery box." Kyo flushed, and, Yuki grinned wickedly. It was a good hiding place from Tohru who did the cleaning, with the box neatly slotted into place beneath the jewelry box on it's tall traditional blackwood legs. Yuki kept his gaze locked with Kyo as he opened the cap of the lubricant, and, tipped some onto his fingers. He moved down onto his hands and knees, still looking directly at Kyo, and, in that position, he put the fingers covered with slippery lube behind him, and, rubbed them over his hole. Kyo couldn't see him doing it, Yuki's front facing him, but, Yuki could see Kyo's eyes looking at his arm bent behind him, moving up and down slightly. Yuki put his fingers inside of him a few moments later, easily and immediately.

Without needing to stretch himself, his body not made like that, able to take fingers easily, Yuki sat back on his knees, his ankles against his backside, and, he moved on his fingers, both he and Kyo still absolutely silence.

For some reason, it hurt; not a real pain, but, a discomfort that Yuki hadn't had before. It seemed more prevalent than last time. Yuki breathed in and out deeply enough to give him time but to not be heavy, audible pants of breath, and, four times for each inhale and exhale, he moved up and down, virtually bouncing, on his lubricated middle and index fingers. 

Maybe I should have had some of the Hawthorn, too, Yuki thought to himself.

Kyo watched him from the bed, dark, sensuality-tainted eyes slid closed to half-lids, a hand pressed over his mouth, watching Yuki ride his index and middle fingers on the floor. 

It only occured for a few more moments before Kyo moved across his bed, and, then siezed Yuki and pulled him up onto the bed with him. Kyo pulled Yuki to straddle him, and, his middle and index fingers immediately went to Yuki's rim, his fingertips rubbing over it, Kyo's other hand holding Yuki's hip. He noticed Yuki shivering, and, the warmth like hot water that drench Kyo's being, soaking him wonderfully, just made him instantly shove his fingers inside. Yuki's head tipped back, his lips apart in a silent moan, his eyes closed, and, Kyo was hit by a insane urge to put himself in Yuki's mouth. 

Yuki began to ride Kyo's fingers, and, Kyo couldn't get over how slick and warm Yuki's walls felt, closing up around him as he moved in and out, absolutely hot. Kyo was more than hard, and, all he wanted to do was fit Yuki right down onto him, use him like a toy.

TO BE CONTINUED


	20. Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WILL UPDATE TOMORROW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WILL UPDATE TOMORROW

WILL UPDATE TOMORROW


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